Darnell Dockett Live-Tweeting Jury Duty Is The Best Thing You'll Read All Day (And Probably All Week)
If there is one universally recognized bane to our American existence, it is jury duty. I know, I know, the United States has bigger, more institutional problems to deal with, too, but just work with me for a minute — jury duty is not fun for anyone, civic responsibility or not. And no one, I mean no one,has encapsulated our mutual disdain for the task than Arizona Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett, who is live tweeting his jury duty experience. And to be honest, if Dockett were part of my jury, I don't know that my duties would be so boring after all.
Dockett's tweeting extravaganza began this morning, when he asked the Twitterverse if anyone knew how long jury duty would last. Oh, Darnell, if only you knew. But seven hours later, the football player seemed to be enjoying himself, and was in the midst of providing what can only be described as the most hard-hitting first-hand account of jury duty in modern-day history. His tweets oscillate between frustration and philosophy, amusement and sympathy, and are indeed a perfect snapshot of the many emotions that we all must feel while serving our time in court. But not all of us had the foresight to live tweet it. (FYI, Darnell, any sort of social-media sharing during jury duty is strictly prohibited. But no matter.)
So without further ado, I present to you: Darnell Dockett's live tweets of jury duty.
Hours, Darnell. Horrible, horrible hours.
Indeed, the system is crazy. How many times have we thought that?
Darnell Dockett doesn't want to pass judgment on you because he wouldn't trust you to pass judgment on him.
The ultimate existential question: Do any of us really matter?
Seriously, what more is there to say? Not a racist? Check. Anti-capital punishment? Check. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, JUSTICE SYSTEM?
Can you even bring your phone into the courthouse?
Again, who hasn't thought that?
Are those "Dockett for 2016" posters I see being developed?
If I had a dime for every time I wanted to order pizza when I was bored...
How he just walked into another courtroom is beyond me, but I'm not even mad.
The system cannot keep Darnell Dockett down.
It is unclear what happened here but I don't think Darnell Dockett got thrown out of court.
Isn't that what we all want?
You heard it here first, kids! Dockett is leaving the NFL for the bar!
His final tweet. I feel cheated.