Technology enthusiasts and product designers have long been geeking out over the invention of 3D printers and the possibilities that come with them. 3D technology may have served worthy causes like helping a dog run for the first time, saving a baby’s life, and dressing Barbies to kick butt, but the newest advancement in the field is 3D selfies. Because, you know, regular selfies weren’t annoying enough.
This technology is brought to us by Fuel3D’s Scanify, which allows users to scan any object or person to make a 3D image for printing or sharing. The Scanify is a fancy tool that uses multiple point-and-shoot cameras to capture its subject from multiple perspectives at once in order to combine these images to create a highly detailed 3D model. This means that anything you scan — your favorite shoes, the tweezers you keep losing, or your friend’s cute keychain — can be printed and replicated.
Even though tech sites are praising Scanify as the harbinger of the 3D selfie, they fail to mention that even if someone shells out $1500 for the device, their images would only be viewable using 3D-compatible sites. This means that you wouldn’t be able to share your 3D duckface using platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. These sites don’t have the capability to support interactive 3D images, so your selfie would end up looking like a regular photo or like this:
That being said, you could still turn your
likeness into a mug or a sculpture to give to your mom on mother's day or to a
friend who you want to creep out.
But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t other uses for the Scanify. Jezebel points out that the device could be used for 3D sexting, which would make your steamy sentiments a whole lot more interactive. However, it’s not as if a 3D dick will just pop our of your iPhone. First of all, to use the Scanify to send a naughty 3D object, both you and your sexting partner would have to have the Scanify software and 3D printers. You would then have to send a scan of your unmentionables via your computer and wait for the other person to download the file and print it out, which could take a while. Kind of sounds like a buzzkill to me, but hey, if you are into that kinky 3D stuff then go for it.
So while 3D technology is advancing to be more accessible and user-friendly for consumers, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is as sharable or immediate as the 2D technology that we all know and love. Furthermore, if a 3D company is going to try and embrace a millennial fad, might I suggest focusing on food porn in lieu of selfies? Imagine being able to make a friend’s brunch Instagram come to life while you are still hungover in bed. Now that’s something I would spend $1500 on.