15 of The Funniest Epitaphs on Tombstones, Because It Is The Last Joke You Can Make

Call me creepy (so what if I am?), but I’m in love with cemeteries. Every time I go back to Paris, the second place I always visit after my arrival (the first being Sacré-Cœur Basilica) is Père Lachaise Cemetery. I pay my respects to Oscar Wilde first, always, then meander about the grounds, wandering around the Aux Morts ossuary, getting lost between and sometimes in the tombs, and am completely at peace. Each tomb and headstone is unique either in its art (Georges Rodenbach kills it in that area) or wording, and there’s something really fascinating and mildly eerie about a place where so many remains reside. That “so many” actually is estimated to be over a million.

While people’s final words definitely make a lasting impression, the fact is that if you really want to seal to the deal and make generations remember you forever and ever, you have to put it in stone. If that’s the route you’re going to take, then you need to decide if you want to make them weep or make them laugh, the latter being far more difficult, of course.

Here are 15 tombstones that will definitely give you a giggle or two.

Image: mo pie/Flickr

The Writer

My thoughts exactly, Billy.

Image: Alan Light/Flickr

The Witty Guy

Jack Lemmon was one hell of an actor, and a funny one to boot. Here, he stars in his final role in … well, the ground. 

Image: Alan Light/Flickr

Captain Obvious

This one truly gets to the heart of the matter and doesn’t dance around it with any flowery euphemisms. You nailed it, Mitchell.

Image: brewbug/Flickr

The Optimist

It’s really important to look on the bright side of things. 

Image: GJCharletIII/Flickr

The Day Dreamer

Well, we can’t all be the people we had hoped to be. 

Image: chippewabear/Flickr

The Ultimate Badass

But then there are those who truly live (and die) as total winners. Samuel Whittemore, a Revolutionary War solider, did just that.

Image: WikiCommons

The Poet

Not just funny about the inevitable, but poetic, too. 

Image: Tammra/Flickr

The Funny Guy

While fart jokes are all well and good, I really wish Leslie Nielsen had gone with “And don’t call me Shirley,” from Airplane instead. Now that was a funny movie. 

Image: WikiCommons

The Gameshow Host

Ha! Get it? Such a comedian!

Image: mo pie/Flickr

The Liberal

I have a sneaking suspicion that Bill and I would have gotten along famously. 

Image: FamilyTreeMagazine/Flickr

The Sick Guy

At first, I thought this was knee-slapping hysterical, then I realized that it’s not so original after all. But let’s ignore that and get back to that knee slapping! 

Image: GJCharletIII/Flickr

The Psychic

I really hope someone gave this dude a medal when he got to the pearly gates of wherever his beliefs took him. 

Image: orping/Flickr

The Guy Who Could 'Get No Respect'

But with a headstone like this, you totally have to give him props.

Image: Alan Light/Flickr

The Innocent One

If you’re going to maintain your innocence in life, you might as well do it in the afterlife, too. 

Image: J. Stephen Conn/Flickr

The Unintentional Dead Man

Well, at least now his name makes perfect sense. 

Image: dvs/Flickr