Pat yourself on the back, because you have just arrived at a post that is both cute and educational. This instructional video from Buzzfeed offers important information about how and where different domesticated animals—from dogs and cats to rabbits and chinchillas—like to be touched. The video, illustrated via handy diagrams created by Adam Ellis, is an important reminder that animals are not only here for our amusement; they deserve to be smothered by affection in ways that feel good to them. Let's say you have a dog. Ear scratches? Go for it! Belly rubs? Yes, please! Tail petting? Not so much. (I am testing these techniques on my dog at this very moment, and she agrees very adamantly with the video: puppy tails are off-limits, and belly rubs are crack. Puppy crack.)
The video also offers viewers some useful safety tips: Remember, not all animals like to be touched in the same way (or, in the case of goldfish, they don't like to be touched very much at all). And, if you value your life, you should probably refrain from petting bears. And wolverines. And, just to be safe, Wolverine himself (unless he’s being played by Hugh Jackman, in which case, I say GO FOR IT).