Katy Perry Says No More Nudity For Her Ancient, Withering Body

Katy Perry is a grown-up now. She will no longer be partaking in all the nakedness and sledgehammer-licking all those whippersnappers like Miley Cyrus are into. Well, maybe the sledgehammers. But only sometimes. Baby steps. Still, when it comes to the stripping aspect of being a pop star, "Roar" singer Perry says she's just too old to bare it all, what with her withered and ancient body and all. "Maybe I'm just getting a little bit older and as you get older you realize, 'Oh I don't know if I can pull that off anymore,'" said Perry in an interview with Capital FM. "I mean, if I had Rihanna's body I would wear everything that Rihanna wears because she looks fabulous in all of it."

Let us say that it is completely Perry's prerogative to put on or take off as much as she wants — she could wear parkas and snowpants in every music video and public appearance from here on out and that would be fine as long as she is happy and can personally deal with the fact that she'd be wearing material five inches thick while living in Southern California. She could also show up to the VMAs literally completely nude, and while we would be confused — because we're pretty sure there are laws against that — we would still argue for her right to bare whatever she pleases. Girl can wear whatever she wants.

What interests us is the apparent idea that older women must make a transition into hiding their bodies. Must we remind her that Helen Mirren exists and is awesome? And even if one does not look as mind-blowingly Helen Mirren as Helen Mirren does at the age of 68, women should not be made to feel ashamed of their bodies as they go through that thing called aging. You know, that thing that literally all of us are doing right now (not you, Patrick Stewart)?

It should be noted that Perry is now the wizened old age of 28, and hasn't even pushed other humans out of her body, so we're highly skeptical in the first place that things have even started slipping yet.

Perry did continue, though, noting that the transition away from the kind of nudity seen in the "California Gurls" music video is also in large part because she wants to be at least a vaguely more serious artist. "I think I want to keep the attention on my music," she said. "I really have a lot of confidence in my songs that are coming out and that's where I need most of the focus."

Aw, well that's cool. Wear whatever the hell you want, Katy Perry. Just keep doing you.