12 Superficial Thoughts Everyone Has Doing Yoga

The word “yoga” means “union”, which makes perfect sense: To practice yoga is to create unity among the mind, body, and spirit. When we practice yoga, we use physical postures and deep, purposeful breathing to bring us into a heightened awareness of our bodies and minds, and we work to become closer to our true selves—the selves that lie beneath all of the mental chatter that usually fills our days.

The thing is, my mental chatter is LOUD. Really loud. And making it quiet so that I can connect more authentically with my core self is easier said than done. A major component of practicing yoga is learning to focus on the body, the breath, and the present moment, but many of us are inevitably distracted by… well, everything, really. I love yoga, but even after many years of practice, I still find myself in classes beset by thoughts that are decidedly un-yoga-like: musings on how I look, how other people look, what I’m going to eat for dinner, that random thing that happened to me last week, that stray memory of how the soap smelled in my parents’ old guest bathroom. The frequency with which these haphazard epiphanies seem to be in direct proportion with how still and focused I’m supposed to be; the more intense the meditation, the more my mind wants to skitter in all directions, fastening onto whatever happens to be most irrelevant in that moment.

If you, like me, experience these bumps on the road to enlightenment, take heart—you’re not alone. And it’s important that we not beat ourselves up about these mental wanderings. To do so would violate the central yogic principle of “ahimsa,” or compassion—for others and for ourselves. The next time you find yourself thinking about the latest episode of Scandal while you’re hanging out in Downward Dog, show some compassion for yourself and your compulsively babbling brain; pull yourself back from the TV abyss, try to refocus, and move on. It’s all just part of the journey. That’s what I tell myself, at least.

Do these thoughts look familiar to you?

1. God, I need a pedicure.

2. OOOOOOMMMMMMM. OOOOOOOOMMM. Is my OM-ing off key?

3. Prickly legs. Somehow I missed a whole section of my calf while shaving. I have poodle legs.

4. The teacher’s earrings are so cute. How do yoga teachers always have the best earrings? Maybe I should get yoga earrings. Oooo, shopping.

5. Was that mole there before? Maybe I need to have that checked. Oh, God, what if it’s a tumor?

6. Aaand now we’re facing the mirror. Good Lord, what’s going on with my hair?

7. Do I have camel toe? Yes, yes, I most definitely do.

8. Is there anyway to fix my camel toe without looking like I’m…fixing my camel toe?

9. When I look through my legs during Child’s Pose, it kind of looks like an upside-down bird. Am I the first person to notice that? Is this crotch-bird shape supposed to mean something?

10. That lady has her foot behind her head. BEHIND HER HEAD. How??

11. OK, savasana. I am a corpse. I am relaxing…I am emptying my mind…I am letting go… do I have enough leftovers from last night for dinner tonight?... I don’t want to go to the store, although I guess we did run out of tortilla chips… maybe I’ll be able to squeeze in Orange Is The New Black later… I hate Larry so much…mmm, lattes…………..my nose itches.

12. Seriously, this pedicure situation is out of control. I have the feet of Frodo Baggins.

Images: Kathy0805/Instagram; Giphy (2); Sunchild123, PINKÉ, Anne Wu/Flickr (3); New Line Cinema