9 Times Alleged Snacking Burglars Got Caught With Their Hands In The Cookie Jar
Have you ever wondered what your style would be if you were a burglar? Not to cast any aspersions, or encourage any bad behavior, but it's sometimes fun to imagine what your outlaw life might be like. And if you ever have, or ever do, here's a moral to keep firmly fixed in your mind — don't get distracted by the munchies. Seriously, people seemingly make this mistake all the time! For example, check these 9 times snacking burglars got caught with their hands in the proverbial, or literal, cookie jar.
It's got to be a pretty embarrassing way to foul up a home robbery, that's for sure. Although maybe it helps lighten the mood when the homeowner arises to find you rifling through the pantry? OK, probably not. But at the very least you'd get to be immortalized on a list like this, your primal, overriding hunger acknowledged far and wide. If I were to get caught eating something during a burglary, I'd personally probably prefer it be something a little classy; if I'm going to land in jail for it, there better at least be a nice risotto or something.
Here are nine instances of alleged burglars prioritizing stomachs over subterfuge.
Tater Tots And A Snooze
It's one thing to grab a snack during your burglary, it's another to eat something and flat-out fall asleep. That's what happened to a Northern California man who allegedly burglarized a home in Petaluma on Thursday, according to SFGate, only to supposedly chomp up some tater tots and doze off on the couch. The man in question was arrested by authorities while attempting to flee, having been woken by the home's occupant at around 2 p.m. – that's right, snoozing in the afternoon.
"I'm Just Having Milk And Cookies"
Imagine waking up in the early morning to find a pants-less woman in your kitchen, nipping into your milk and cookies. That's what allegedly happened to one Oklahoma family in August 2013, according to NBC affiliate KFOR. The alleged intruder, 27-year-old Michelle Stephens, was reportedly arrested after briefly fleeing the scene. According to the home's occupant, she'd also nabbed some pesto and jack cheese.
Raw Cookie Works Just As Well
If what type of mid-burglary snack entices you is any broader reflection on your life, it's safe to say that being caught eating cookie dough isn't a great look. And, according to CBS News, that's what happened to one woman in Wichita, Kansas. Waking up in the middle of the night (around 3:30 a.m.), a 52-year-old woman discovered a 28-year-old man allegedly wolfing down cookie dough in her kitchen. Her was ultimately arrested, and reportedly claimed he'd believed he was in his aunt's house.
French Fry Foible
I guess it would be interesting to walk into your kitchen and see a strange intruder munching on your french fries, huh? So said Canadian woman Jena Grigorovich, who reportedly suffered this fate in 2012. As she told the CBC at the time: "I was scared, but it was really interesting. ... He went in our fridge and got out some of our KFC fries and was eating it." The alleged burglar was apprehended, and charged by the police.
Can't Resist The Fish
Sure, grabbing something out of somebody's fridge is one thing. But the real thrill-seekers might just try to cook something up. At the very least, that's what reportedly took place in the Netherlands in 2004. According to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, a man was arrested after trying to fry up a fish for himself in someone else's house. The aroma woke up the house's occupant, and the rest is history.
A Very Costly Sausage Breakfast
Don't worry about all those stereotypes about gluttonous Americans. As the earlier story out of Canada attests, this is an international phenomenon, just look in Austria, where a man allegedly broke into a restaurant before opening hours to get himself some sausage. According to the Austrian Times, the hungry intruder was eating a couple sausages and enjoying a glass of fruit juice when he was discovered, pepper-sprayed, and ultimately arrested.
"The Snacking Bandit" Gets Caught
Back in the 1995, a man known in New York as the "Snacking Bandit" was apprehended, allegedly leaving a trail of stolen computers, jewelry, and pizza slices in his wake, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Of course, this guy was a little more professional, as this sort of thing goes, as he didn't get caught on the scene, but was identified as a suspect while filing a police report. That's the thing that's most confusing about this sort of story, honestly — are people not willing to eat on the move?
Someone Loves Rice Krispies
I was never much for Rice Krispies Treats, myself, but some people went absolutely zany for them. This became a topic of some concern at Spokane Valley Elementary School back in 2011, when two whole boxes of the things vanished from the cafeteria after a long holiday weekend. The tip-off? Wrappers strewn around the kitchen. According to NBC affiliate KHQ, it may have been the so-called "perfect crime," to boot – the authorities weren't able to determine who nabbed the snacks.
Cozy Up To That Ice Cream
And, of course, the classic. Eat a little too much ice cream, and your eyelids start feeling a little heavy. As detailed by The Mirror in early March, a 30-year-old man allegedly fell asleep after consuming a full container of ice cream, only to be woken later by the screams of the home's returning occupant. He didn't even fall asleep accidentally, as per the report — he was found in the bed in a spare room, an impressive, high-stakes commitment to sloth.
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