'The Vampire Diaries' Is A Mess

Thursday's episode of CW's The Vampire Diaries, "Dead Man on Campus," was a whirlwind. The episode opened on Dr. Maxfield, who is apparently more like a Dr. Frankenstein, and ended with a dead Katherine... or an alive Katherine? The only thing missing from the show's annual Halloween episode was a big, shocking death (unless you count Tyler breaking Caroline's poor, little heart for the umpteenth time as a death). But, yet again, the CW's sexy vampire show brought a million things to the table, but, unfortunately, none of them were particularly satisfying.

Apparently Dr. Maxfield — who, at the end of last week's episode turned his lab assistant and Caroline's temporary love interest, Jesse, into a vampire — completed his experiment so he could study his subject. So was it another one of Maxfield's creations that took out Caroline and Elena's college roommate in the first episode? That seems likely, but we don't know for sure. He's apparently starving his creation in an attempt to study the workings of the vampire mind. Okay, crazy. Do you know what hungry, new vampires do, Doc? They eat people. As many as they can get their hands on. So, good luck with that, I guess. It also turns out that the creepy guy who's been hanging around Megan's grave, Aaron, for an excessively long time, is Maxfield's ward and has apparently seen his entire family die. No doubt at the hands of Maxfield's obsessive vampire-creating.

Speaking of bad ideas, Katherine is apparently Silas' cure for immortality, but he needs to consume every ounce of her blood for it to be successful. I bet you wish you didn't turn yourself human after all, girl. Oh, and Jeremy wants to work with Silas to bring Bonnie back. Jeremy, Bonnie, and now Damon and Elena seem to believe that he'll be able to perform a spell that could swap his life for Bonnie's. It's probably unwise to rely on a sociopathic doppelgänger to save your dead BFF, but when has TVD ever been entirely rational? Bonnie doesn't believe that it'll be as easy as it sounds, but she stupidly revealed how Jeremy could convince everyone else to go along with this plan.

In the spirit of Halloween, pretty much the entire cast gatecrashes Caroline and Elena's Whitmore Historical Ball. The theme: Murderous Couples Throughout History. Romantic! Caroline and Tyler are Bonnie and Clyde, Elena and Damon are Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII, and Qetsiyah (Tess) and Stefan are random with Cleopatra and James Dean costumes. Interesting choices, all clearly planned by Caroline with the exception of Tess' Cleopatra. So the gang's all here. Elena's still ignoring Damon because of her massive guilt complex and generally being whiny and annoying, so this wasn't going to be a fun night for anyone.

Here comes the confusing part: Damon snaps Stefan's neck for Silas' benefit. (Pissed? Yeah, I know.) Basically, Silas needs Stefan to technically be dead so their link is broken and he can have his psychic powers back to use on his ex, Tess. So he pretends to care about her (typical) and gets her to tell him all about the anchor that could keep him in supernatural limbo after death so he never sees his true love again. But surprise! It's been hidden by the Travelers and she has no idea where to find it. (Remember the moonstone? This could go on forever.) She also tells him that she's at the party to find a pendant that could help her locate the supposed anchor. Just as they're starting to hit it off, Stefan wakes up and he's pissed (well, duh) so he snaps Damon's neck just because and goes out to destroy the plan and succeeds. Tess ends up crushing Silas' heart, turning him into a shriveled, gray vampire raisin. I guess that will complicate things.

The biggest reveal of the night: Katherine has a daughter. Katherine's been held captive for the past two episodes by Nadia, another new character/vampire who also apparently is her daughter from before she turned. Nadia tells a sad story about Katherine's "death," or the moment she became a vampire, makes her feel sad, and then they have a little bonding moment in which she stabs Nadia with a wooden cane. Doesn't it make your heart brim with joy? Same.

Anyway, Katherine reveals that she went back to their little town in Bulgaria to look for Nadia some time after she'd ditched Klaus' minions, but her daughter was gone, so she asked where she went. Surprise, Nadia, mummy loves you. It kind of sucks that Damon's hellbent on killing Katherine now so that he can revive Silas for Elena. (Those two could really use some mother-daughter bonding time after centuries apart.) He's really so valiant the way he's willing to do whatever it takes to get Bonnie back and make Elena happy again. It's also kind of sad, though, since he's obviously doing it because he's scared of losing her to Stefan STILL.

Talk about an information and storyline overload, yet again. When are we actually going to get answers instead of getting stuck knee-deep in confusing storylines? Oh, and Tyler broke Caroline's heart because he cares more about hunting down Klaus, so he's out to the Bayou to settle the score. Peace up, New Orleans down.

Image: CW