Entertainment

What Your Favorite Summer Movie Says About You

by James Tison

Whip out your short shorts and baggy tees, because Memorial Day is here, and summer is right behind it. Once again it's time to brace for painful heat waves, drunken barbecues, and — like every Memorial Day — the beginning of summer blockbusters. So far, we've been graced with the perfection that was Pitch Perfect 2 and Mad Max: Fury Road, but that's just the start of it. In a tradition dating back to Jaws and Star Wars, audiences will once again flock to the theaters in pursuit of explosions, super heroes, and the occasional musical comedy. But what does your favorite summer blockbuster say about you?

Even the most cynical movie-goer has his or her favorite summer blockbuster. Were you at every midnight screening of the Star Wars movies? Are you a die hard Die Hard fan, defending even those questionable later movies against all the haters? Did you and your girlfriends sneak cosmos into the Sex and the City premiere? What do our favorite franchises reveal about our personalities?

As we all decide which movies will be receiving our hard-earned dollars this time around, let's take a moment to reflect on what our favorite summer blockbusters say about us. Choose carefully.

MIB / Independence Day

You love movies about aliens as much as you love movies starring Will Smith. During the cold and lonely winter months, it seems like you're always forced to pick between the two! Do you watch Interstellar or Focus? Playing them both at the same time on two different TVs makes it hard to watch either. Argh, why can't you have both!? That's why every summer sends you running to the cinema, when you finally get to have your cake and eat it, too.

Top Gun / Minority Report / Mission Impossible

It doesn't matter how many couches he jumps on, or cults he joins, Tom Cruise hasn't been able to do wrong in your eyes since he slid out of his undies and into our hearts in Risky Business.

Iron Man / Avengers / Thor / Anything in the Marvel Comics Universe

You're obsessed with Tom Hiddleston, Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth, or cosplay — but probably all four.

Die Hard Franchise

You're a down-on-your-luck, borderline alcoholic with a distant ex, who just keeps having one terrible day after another.

The Mummy Franchise

It has less to do with the quality of the movies, and more to do with the fact that, like me, you still remember Brendan Fraser running around Manhattan in a loin cloth in George of the Jungle. That's been enough to make you throw money at his movies until the end of time.

Sex and the City Movies

You value media that features strong women, especially during the summer months when so many movies are male-centric. But, honey, you also have trouble letting go of the past. Everything comes to an end: you need to accept that, remember the good times, pour out the Cosmo, and move on with your life.

Star Wars

You are super pissed off that they moved the release date to the winter for all of the new movies. WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS?

Images: Blastr; Giphy (7)