What Weird Celebrity Artifacts Will Be The Marilyn Monroe X-Rays Of The Future?
A recent auction of unusual celebrity artifacts unearthed X-rays of Marilyn Monroe's skull and decomposing chin implant, amongst other bizarre items we can't imagine ever spending money on. However, the fact remains that some shmuck willingly paid over 25,000 dollars to own Marilyn's medical files, which begs the question of what truly insane things people will pay for in the future. How much will it cost for us to own little bits of the Marilyn Monroes of our day? Will we shell out for limited edition Kate and William mugs, or will we be throwing dough at even more outlandish keepsakes and curios?
Given our obsession with the famous, I'd venture to guess that what we throw on the auctioning block fifty years from now will make X-rays looks positively tame in comparison. After all, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' wedding made them 18 million dollars in profits, so in a society where pretty much everything is for sale, what mysterious memorabilia will linger once the stars of our day are just memories? I think it's gonna get weird, because all the relatively normal stuff will have gone decades before the youthful and beautiful stars we know and love go the way of ashes to ashes and dust to dust. So here are my bets for what sort of stuff you can hope to see half a century down the line, if any of it actually turns up, I totally expect a percentage of the selling price. Don't say I didn't warn you.
1) A Vial Of Kim Kardashian's Ass Fat
Ya know, they say if you inject it into your own ass while clicking your heels and chanting "There's no booty like Kim's" you too can be graced with a Kardashian ass! But that's just rumor.
2) One Of John Mayer's Used Condoms
How useful is this gonna be? Who doesn't want to get pregnant with John Mayer's rubbery future babies?
3) The Foam Finger. 'Nuff Said.
They know you want it.
4) Rob Ford's Crack Pipe
With a free hit of vintage crack no less! A bargain at any price.
5) One Fake Nail Worn By Lil Kim
Although it might look like a sparkly purple slug from far away.
6) Prince George's Foreskin
Oh, yes, I went there.