Romance, in my opinion, isn't very hard. Aziz kinda nailed it when he said women just want someone who is "nice and clean." That shouldn't be an issue, but how's a person to go above and beyond that? Simple gestures like sweet texts throughout the day, offering to pick up boo's laundry—I swear, even an unsolicited hand with tackling a stack of dishes at this point is swoon-worthy. However, one 20-year-old guy in Kazakhstan is pushing the bar a bit higher: The guy dressed as his girlfriend to take her exam for her. Young love! ::wistful sigh::
High school relationships are the best because everyone's hormones are on full blast, manipulating brains and bodies into thinking "This is real! This is it! I WILL become a vampire forever as this person is hot as hell and freaking SPARKLES and this is the only way I can safely bone him without exploding or whatever! Goodbye to everyone I've ever known and loved because I am a teen and I know things!" Right? That was a pretty universal experience for all of us pre-voting age. Actually, my high school romantic experience bounced between two dude people, which involved thoughtful mix CDs and smoking me out to outerspace, respectively. Which is kinda the same.
Anyway, Ayan Zhademov made the (new) ultimate boyfriend move. His 17-year-old girlfriend was dreading college entrance exams so hard he gave up on encouraging her she'd survive. Instead, he grabbed a black wig, some makeup, a few of her feminine clothing items, and walked into the exam claiming he was her. Which...almost worked. Who knows what she looks like, but here is his stab as nailing it:
School officials caught Zhademov. They were first tipped off to his cover when he didn't exactly match the ID card presented. When questioned, Zhademov reportedly attempted to hike up his speaking voices a few octaves higher than normal. That confirmed suspicions. An exam board spokesperson said:
We suspected it might be another woman that had taken the candidate’s place, but we never suspected it was a man that had taken her place. At least not until he started speaking. He tried speaking in a high voice but it was obvious then that he was a male.
The young man was pulled from the exam environment and slapped with a fine equal to about $2170 USD. The price of romance, I guess. Or at least that's how many members of the public interpret the impersonation and gesture. One local businessman in particular took pity on the heartfelt move and donated about half of the money to pay Zhademov's fine.
I suppose it really was a romantic gesture. You wouldn't risk potentially very bad repercussions for some side piece or human you're not particularly devoted to. Although, yes, very sweet, I can think of a few alternative romantic gestures that beckon possible legal discourse far less:
An hour-long head scratch
Many men assume women want massages, usually of the shoulder or foot variety. We don't not want massages as those are good, too. It's just that head scratches are 1000% better. Since that stimulates blood moving around in your scalp, it not only calms nerves it can also get hair growth a-growin'. Winning all around.
Breakfast nachos
What person would not be so fully stoked to be the recipient of breakfast nachos? The best part of about breakfast nachos in general is that they are variable—they could include traditional breakfast foods like eggs or, IDK, bacon? But they don't have to. They're breakfast nachos thanks to the sole factor they are eaten first thing upon waking up for the day. The best part about these breakfast nachos is the recipient has to put forth zero effort to create or enjoy them! Wee!
Surprise tiny bottles of wine smuggled into the movies
Maybe something about sparkling vampires. I don't know your life. Choose your own romantic adventure, bb.
Images: Alberto G./Flickr; Giphy(3)
