Why Would Anyone Stalk Alex Baldwin?

The conviction of Genevieve Sabourin on charges of stalking Alec Baldwin have conclusively proved that there will be nothing left to shock us by the year 2016. And that's a fact. In the course of courtroom proceedings, arguments were made back and forth to the tune of Sabourin's lawyer saying her stalking was just her, "trying to figure out where their relationship" stood whilst Baldwin's lawyers made an eloquent case for the "nightmareish" nature of the entire ordeal. It's this kind of story that just splits me two, because I definitely think Alex Baldwin is a sleazeball, but I alsooooo don't know anyone who has tried to figure out the status of a relationship for three entire years.

I mean, of all the celebrities you could choose to stalk, who in their right mind would choose Alec Baldwin? Did Sabourin know about that infamous voicemail Alec left his daughter? How could she not? I mean, his daughter Ireland said that he just says that sort of stuff when he is frustrated, and well, what could be more frustrating than having a stalker? I imagine very little. Sounds to me like this woman was asking for trouble, maybe she was more of a masochist than a stalker in the first place. After all, we're talking about a situation in which some woman supposedly slept with Alec Baldwin, and then sent him threatening emails, phonecalls, texts and more. If we thought him calling his daughter a "little pig" was bad, what kind of stuff would he have said to a woman who threatened to harass his wife at her place of work? Ugh. The whole thing is cringe central.

Personally if it were me, Alec Baldwin would be pretty much last on my list of potential stalk-ees (my my this article has taken a weird turn). If you're on the market for a middle aged actor, well, wouldn't you rather go for someone like Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, John Hamm or George Clooney? Not only are they easier on the eyes, but you'd probably run less of a risk of being verbally assaulted.

So for those of you considering a career in celebrity stalking, consider this: Alex Baldwin is an awful choice. He gets mad, compares family members to farm animals, and if you stalk him, he'll probably get you arrested. Go for Tracy Morgan instead.