Bethenny Asked Courtney What?!

I'll definitely be watching Bethenny tomorrow. I'll DVR it, at the very least. What's the occasion? Well, Bethenny Frankel's interview with Courtney Stodden, the patron saint of sky-high heels, will air Friday. I find Stodden incredibly fascinating (I could talk about her season of Couples Therapy for hours), and I'm amped to watch what will surely be the interview of the year. If I had a really corny sense of humor, I'd say, "I bet they discuss health care, gun control laws, and Iran!" But I won't say that. I don't want anyone rolling their eyes at me.

The clips of the interview are… a lot to deal with. If the preview is this bananas, I can't fathom what it means for THE ENTIRE INTERVIEW. I'm a bit nervous to watch it, but I know it'll be worth the risk. Predictably, Stodden says some hysterical stuff, but it's Judgy McShamey Frankel who really makes me clutch my pearls.

Here are the craziest, most uncomfortable moments from less than six minutes of footage:

Bethenny: You come in looking like you could be at a strip club.Me: Bethenny…

Bethenny: You're a beautiful girl … but you look very promiscuous and you look like the next move should be to do a porn video.Me: Bethenny! How many times are you going to slut-shame Stodden?

Courtney: I don't have a book coming out. That's a rumor. I don't read or write.Me: Well played, Courtney. Solid joke. At least I hope it's a joke. I really, really have to believe it's a joke.

Bethenny: Is what you're putting out there what you want to get? Do you want older men to want to take advantage of you?Me: BETHENNY. You can't...That's... I... Woof. Just woof.

Bethenny: You are a lot of woman [for a 19 year old or 25 year old guy]… You don't look 19.Me: BETH. EN. NY. You have to slow your roll.

Courtney: I think that whether a woman, or anybody, quite frankly, wants to wear combat boots or eight inch heels, that's their prerogative.Me: You know what, Courtney? You're not wrong.

Courtney: I actually feel that I am a true feminist.Me: I really, REALLY can't wait to hear the rest of this.

Courtney: I need to do what regular girls do.Bethenny: But you don't look like a regular girl.Me: Bethenny. I know you're coming from a good place, but holy cannoli.

After approximately 308 seconds with those two, I have a migraine. Yeesh. I'm stoked for tomorrow. I guess I'm a masochist.

Image: Warner Bros./Fox