This Jewelry Heist Was Way Too Easy

Recently, Hollywood experienced a jewelry heist that will go down in the history books. The history books very specifically dealing with celebrity-related incredibly low-key jewelry heisting, but some kind of mention in some kind of book at some point seems likely. This jewelry heist involved Nick Canon and a famous rich-person clothing boutique — and also a boutique employee who is probably in a little bit of hot water right about now.

Here are the apparent steps to pulling off a celebrity jewelry heist:

  1. Call up a celebrity-frequented boutique (in this case the famous Fred Segal)
  2. Claim to be an employee of [insert celebrity here] — in this case Nick Canon.
  3. Claim said previously mentioned celebrity needs a bag full of expensive jewelry because he's married to Mariah Carey and what other kinds of needs would they have?
  4. Only agree to meet to pick up said jewelry in a place of your choosing (in this case the Roosevelt Hotel in Los Angeles)
  5. Instead of your previously established identity as Nick Canon's employee, dress up a security person and tell the boutique employee that you have been put in charge of bringing the jewelry up to the Canon/Careys.
  6. Never come back.
  7. Be in possession of lots of expensive jewelry.

Now we're just imagining the poor woman who delivered the jewels to that hotel, sitting in the lobby for an insufferably long time waiting for Nick Canon's "people" to come down with the jewelry payment. Alas, it was not meant to be.

The main question is, will we get a reality show and a Sofia Coppola film out of this celebrity robbery?

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