New "Egg Master" To Cook Eggs Is About As Hilariously NSFW As A Breakfast Food Can Possibly Be — VIDEO

I bet you never thought eggs could be really, really weird a creepy, and vaguely not safe for work. But here it is guys, eggs at their creepiest, thanks to the Egg Master, a device that makes eggs look like penises while cooking them. The whole thing is a giant exercise in what the fuck, because it's unclear why anyone would want one of these plastic tubes to cook their eggs, other than to laugh at the fact that the cooked egg tube kind of looks like a very long poop coming out of a butt hole.

The Egg Master is available for purchase on Amazon for $24.99, which is $24.99 more than it would cost to, I don't know, just cook an egg in one of your existing pots or pans. The product description reads as follows:

"Discover a whole new way to prepare eggs and other tasty snacks in minutes! The Pop-Up Egg Maker is a fast and healthy way to cook eggs perfectly every time. Just crack an egg, pour it in and watch it pop up fully cooked in 6 to 8 minutes. Add cheese, onions, bacon etc. for a quick omelet on-a-stick! The unique vertical cooking chamber makes it easy to create dozens of fast and delicious treats for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert! Includes silicone grip, cleaning brush and instruction guide/recipe book."
Do you know what I never thought to myself? "I'd like a whole new way to prepare eggs!" All the ways that currently exist to prepare eggs are completely fine. Meanwhile, "I'd like am omelette on a stick" is also something no one ever said, ever. Here's how it works:

1. You crack an egg in the top

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2. You wait for it to cook

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3. You watch it emerge

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4. You... eat it?

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Watch the weird egg tube birth below:

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Images: Tore Bustad/Flickr; YouTube (4)

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