13 Funniest "Things I Say After Sex" Tweets, Because We Can All Be Awkward AF

If you've ever wondered what to say after sex, you're about to get a lesson in what not to say afterwards. Because the internet is an endless treasure fountain of weird and wacky things — and it just wants to give you entertainment and pleasure. So the latest hashtag going wild on Twitter is #ThingsISayAfterSex and, as you can imagine, it contains the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Now, a lot of these are joking, but I've done some pretty embarrassing ones in real life. As in, as long as you've never yelled "YOLO!" and given yourself a high-five above a man having sex with you as he finishes, you're playing it a lot cooler than I have. So don't feel embarrassed if you've ever been less than smooth in the post-coital chat domain. Because it can be awkward feeling, especially if it's with someone you don't know that well— or if the sex was not exactly spectacular.

But for now, you can live vicariously. Instead of focusing on your own awkward experiences (I certainly have those) you can enjoy the weirdness of others. The hashtag is still trending, but here are my favorite ones so far — because Harry Potter and sex should be together forever:

1. Not Creepy At All

We've all been there.

2. The Truth

I will take this to my grave.

3. Yikes

It happens.

3. Effing Millennials

Always hustlin'.

5. Creeper For Life

We can't always be in on the action.


I'm not ready to let go.

7. Stay Classy

Handshakes are always a bold choice.

8. Teamwork

Teamwork is important.

9. A Race To The Finish

Speed... it happens.

10. Let's Get Deep

Philosophy deep.


Never forget.

12. You Can't Help It

It does just sort of happen.

13. RIP


13. #AlternativeFacts


Things get awkward after sex sometimes. Share the joy — and the embarrassment.