For eons, tradition dictated the rules of dating, but in 2018, there's no need to fall in line anymore. You can have sex on a first date, see folks of different genders and orientations simultaneously, use dating apps unapologetically, and fully embrace the fact that women asking men out is NBD. That said, sometimes it's not so easy to make a move if you've grown up being told that dudes will seek you out if you exude interest and work a come hither look — as evidenced by a Buzzfeed video where shy girls ask out guys.
But since every woman who digs men isn't shy, there are smoother ways to let a man know you're interested. I'm not talking creepy gimmicks here, just tips on how to straight up tell a guy you're into him and invite him to grab a drink or see a movie or have dinner or maybe just skip all that and head over to your sex lair for some NSA bangin' (but only with enthusiastic consent, of course). So how do you get the guts to break the ice and start the conversation if it's new for you?
The following is how seven women feel about doing their thing, and making the first move:
1
Jazmin, 28
"Asking guys out is the best way to weed out the creeps. If a dude is weirded out by me being assertive right off the bat, I definitely don't want to be dating him or sleeping with him."
2
Claire, 33
"I used to be pretty awkward about it but I think I've gotten better. You're talking to another human here, not a transcendent alien man being. Talk to guys just like you'd talk to anyone else. Rejection is only scary if you take it too personally."
4
Sam, 26
"I just ask guys out via text or dating apps. Does anyone even ask people out IRL anymore?"
5
Dylan, 31
"I make it short and to the point. It doesn't have to be super sexy or romantic, it's just a plan to hang. Don't make it weird and it won't be weird."
6
Andrea, 29
"Asking guys out is about owning my sexual power and agency. I don't wait around for life to happen to me, and I don't wait around for someone to ask me out."
7
Vanessa, 35
"I love walking up to a cute stranger at a bar and asking him out. Most of the time they're totally taken aback and it's cute. A lot of men are just as into being asked out as women are, it's not the 1950s anymore."
So however you feel about making the first dating move, know that thousands of women have come before you and totally nailed it — and/or failed miserably, but lived to tell the tale. And if you still need a little extra inspiration, here are a few more helpful tips on asking a guy out.
