Cathy Vandewater

If only there was a relationship elf that could live on our shoulders and whisper into our ears, gently, kindly, "Sweet pea, you need to move the eff on." If the relationship elf could point out the signs your partner wants to break up with you,…

Generation Y is pretty big on snap decisions. On Tinder, we use knee-jerk "X" or "<3" buttons in response to a picture on the internet that decides whether someone can contact us, or disappears from our radar forever. If we do swipe right, it's…

The funny thing about labels is, when you need them the most is when you probably aren't in the right relationship (or, er, relationship-like thing). I say this with confidence, because in my worst, must unstable, unhappy disappointing…

You know how when you're young, you know just enough about life to be like "OBVIOUSLY cheating is wrong and you should always dump the guy that does it" but not enough about life to anticipate being a relationship with someone you love and finding…

I have been ghosted on by guys many times, but usually, I kind of see it coming. Like with the dude I went out with a few times, who alternated between wanting to be single and wanting to be my serious boyfriend sometimes multiple times in a single…

How can one kiss badly? Let me count the ways. There are the pecks-only people, who don't seem to know what to do beyond rapid fire kisses dead in the center of your mouth, over and over, with sudden and awkward head tilt switches; the ones who go…

To clarify, I am very pro-breaking-up. Life is too short to be with someone you don't have fun with, or who makes you feels shitty about who you are, or who never laughs at your jokes (Taylor Swift knows what I'm talking about). But I also think…

Being told you should like a nice guy who you don't find attractive is the literal worst. I have been on 11 dates (11 DATES) with a guy I couldn't bring myself to kiss more recently than I want to admit because 1) he was really interested, 2) I…

Romance (or lack thereof) is often simpler than most of us want it to be. Your gut is usually right. When you're over a relationship, you're over it — and I think that deep down, everyone knows when that moment has come. But it's hard to walk away…

So you want to have sex in the shower. Maybe you’re feeling a little adventurous. Maybe you live in New York City with three roommates in two bunk beds and this is your only hope for privacy. Maybe your SO has BO and you'd like to avoid that whole…

It's hard to imagine what the whole receiving oral sex experience would be like without the cultural baggage attached to it. There's porn, which tends to feature male-to-female oral for around an eighth of the amount of time as it does the…

Adolescence is deeply confusing that way: some things will just not be explained to you, like what losing your virginity is really like. There is one thing I take away from the handful of "sex talks" I got from my mom that grew and matured with my…

I became aware of fake orgasms before I understood what orgasms actually were. I had just turned 13, and I was watching an episode of Ally Mcbeal where Ling tells Richard Fish she's been faking it so he'll stop taking Viagra. "First of all, you…

Because I'm a nightmare, I've been asking all the guys in my life — including a few second and third dates — a research question: do you think any girls you've been with have faked it? And if so — setting aside a few other preliminary questions…

OK so having sex with a dancer isn’t exactly underrated. But sometimes I feel like we're appreciated for all the wrong reasons. Personally, I know that when people find out I belly dance (not to be confused with "ballet dance") they get all excited…

Samantha Jones once said, "Who we are in bed is who we are in life." To which I call BS, because we all know that the people being ridden around like miniature horses in sex dungeons are totally execs, and those stations in life are very different.…

The first time I had ever really watched porn porn was on a first date. I was hanging out with a guy and he made a joke about the Pirates of the Caribbean porn parody and I was like, LOL there's no way that exists and he was like, IT DOES, and I was…

“Lying is a cooperative act.” That’s what Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting likes to say, and in the case of two-timers and cheaters, she’s right on the money: we want to believe the people who have seen us naked. Sadly, that means anyone who's…