I'm a human woman living in Kansas City, working on freelance writing and self-control while eating chips. If I had to describe myself in three words, I probably wouldn’t.

Trader Joe's Just Launched Chocolate Ornaments You Can Hang On Your Tree & Eat

‘Tis the season for all things food. I’m talking popcorn strings on trees, candy canes strewn on countertops, and now these chocolate ornaments from Trader Joe’s. Alexa, cue the Mariah Carey because we’re about to get real festive up in here. If…
By Mia Mercado

Walmart Is Selling Giant Buddy The Elf Goblets You Can Drink Wine From

Where were you when you realized you could be drinking every beverage, all day long, out of this Buddy the Elf standing goblet? Was it right here, right now? Don’t be ashamed. We all learn eventually, and today is your day. Let us rejoice, be glad,…
By Mia Mercado

Potbelly Dropped A Massive Turducken Sandwich Complete With Cornbread Stuffing

With Thanksgiving a little more than a week away, people across the United States are prepping for everyone’s favorite eating holiday by peeling potatoes, stocking up on stuffing, and shoving meats into other meats. Yes, the Turducken cometh! You…
By Mia Mercado

Taco Bell Just Dropped A Friendsgiving Menu & You’ll Want To Eat Every Single Thing

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and with it comes Friendsgiving. It’s that pre-holiday holiday stuffed with friends and food, all nestled cozily into the loveliest of portmanteaus. And what says “Friendsgiving” like “Taco Bell”? Oh, a lot of…
By Mia Mercado

Dunkin' Is Releasing A Holiday Donut Literally COVERED In Hershey's Kisses

There’s a nip in the air, a light dusting of snow on the ground, and every fast food restaurant is bringing out their most over-the-top sweets. That can only mean one thing: the holiday season is officially here. To celebrate, Dunkin’ has just…
By Mia Mercado

KFC Just Launched Chicken & Waffles And The Pics Will Make You Weep

Kentucky Fried Chicken is doing what it should have done years ago, long before using chicken as sandwich bread or currency or whatever it's doing with its deep fryers. Yes, KFC is finally serving chicken and waffles just as the fast food gods…
By Mia Mercado

The Original Tamagotchis From The '90s Just Hit Target — And They're Only $20

90s kids, assemble! Now is the time to redeem your poor, prepubescent parenting skills because the original Tamagotchi is back, and it probably already needs to be fed. Can you hear the little blips and bloops of cleaning up your digital pet’s poop…
By Mia Mercado

A Restaurant Is Serving The Spaghetti Sundae From 'Elf' & The Pics Are Glorious

This week marked the 15th anniversary of the beloved Christmas movie Elf. In honor of everyone’s favorite human-sized elf, one Chicago restaurant is serving the Elf Spaghetti Sundae from now until Dec. 25. It’s the menu item equivalent of saying,…
By Mia Mercado

Taco Bell Will Let You Throw Parties In-Restaurant Now — Here’s How To Book One Online

Most of us have been to parties and eventually ended up, in a Uber-enabled, drunken stooper, at a Taco Bell drive thru. But suppose the opposite were possible. What if the party...started at a Taco Bell? Soon, that question won’t be hypothetical as…
By Mia Mercado

12 Of Oprah's Favorite Things You Can Buy On Amazon For Under $50 Right Now

When Oprah, Queen of All That Is Good, speaks, it is but our civilian duty to listen. So, regardless of how you feel about the commercialized Christmas Creep or what have you, let us all rejoice and be glad for Oprah’s Favorite Things are available…
By Mia Mercado

You Can Buy This Majestic Reese's Cookie Skillet Online For $12 Right Now

Welcome to the Church of Chocolate and Peanut Butter. Let us rejoice and give thanks for this giant Reese’s cookie skillet, which will truly save us all. Whether you’re mourning a loss (i.e. Beto not winning Texas), celebrating a victory (i.e. Beto…
By Mia Mercado

An Ode To Soup, The Most Unfairly Maligned Genre Of Food

Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about soup? The correct and only answer is yes, because while some believe soup is boring and expensive, I want to preach the Church of Soup to any and all Soup Deniers. “Soup isn’t filling enough to be a meal…
By Mia Mercado

The FDA Sent Out A Warning That You Can Literally Overdose On Black Licorice

Not that too many people will be upset by this news, but the FDA says you can actually overdose on black licorice. If you heard something, that was just the collective gasp of, like, fourteen people emotionally affected by this information. I guess…
By Mia Mercado

Everyone Thinks Apple's New "Woozy" Emoji Is Actually The "Drunk" Emoji

We’ve all been there: It’s late, we’ve had a drink or several, and texting every contact in our phone seems like a really good idea. Now, there’s a way to signify your state while tipsy texting because people think Apple is adding a drunk emoji.…
By Mia Mercado

Sugarfina Launched A Hello Kitty Holiday Collection & You'll Want Every Single Piece

You know that feeling you get when you see something so cute you want to squeeze it? Well, the new Hello Kitty holiday collection from Sugarfina is going to give you that feeling. It’s called gigil, by the way. In the Philippines, that feeling of…
By Mia Mercado

Starbucks Just Revealed Its 4 New Holiday Cups — And They Hit Stores TOMORROW

Halloween is over. RIP Halloween. Time to put away your spooks and scares and get out that holiday spirit. (It’s in the closet next to where you keep your love of pumpkin spice for the better part of the year.) That’s right, my highly caffeinated…
By Mia Mercado

It's Been 8 Years & '30 Rock' Finally Explained The Origins Of "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah"

The perfect Halloween song involves no monster mashing or graveyard smashing; nay, the perfect Halloween song is about boys becoming men and men, thus, becoming wolves. It is “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” from 30 Rock, and I will wait the the two minutes…
By Mia Mercado

Maine Will Help Pay Off Your Student Debt If You Move There

College graduates with student loan debt (read: pretty much all college graduates), rejoice and pack your bags. Financial salvation awaits you in the land of lobster and, now, student debt forgiveness. That’s right: Maine will help pay off your…
By Mia Mercado

You Can Buy This Fancy Glass Sippy Cup For Wine

Greetings, adult humans of a drinking age, would you like to sip your wine is a glass that says, “I’m sophisticated and can’t be trusted with stemmed glassware”? Allow me to introduce you to the Wino Sippo Glasses from Firebox. They are essentially…
By Mia Mercado

This Glorious Scamming Dog Pretended To Be A Stray To Get Free Burgers At McDonald's

Dogs would make excellent con artists. For starters, they’re extremely cute, highly convincing, very cute, motivated by treats, and did I mention they’re cute? One dog owner witnessed this first hand after she found her dog pretending to be a stray…
By Mia Mercado