Rebecca Santiago covers sex and relationships at Bustle. If her mother is dismayed about this, she hides it well.

Why Emotional Vampires Are Ruining Your Life

You already know all about sexy vampires — you've got your Cullens, your Salvatores, your entire-cast-of-True Bloods. Well, today, I'm here to talk about the mythical monster's unsexy real-life counterpart: the emotional vampire, also known as the…
By Rebecca Santiago

Confessions Of A Public Sex Delinquent

Thanks to the recent Fifty Shades of Grey release, BDSM is the particular brand of sexual adventuring that seems to have captured the public's imagination right now. But what about some sexual exploration that doesn't require props and safe words?…
By Rebecca Santiago

I Joined a Hotties-Only Dating Site

Ever find yourself lazing about on your laptop on a Saturday afternoon, thinking, "Gee, I really wish someone were judging my looks in real time online right now"? Yeah, me neither — at least, not since my middle school LiveJournaling days. You see,…
By Rebecca Santiago

My Reformed Cheater's Quickie Guide To Fidelity

As a general rule, the public does not look kindly upon cheaters — not even repentant has-been cheaters like me. How many times have you heard a mother, sitcom or otherwise, smugly intone, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"? Statistics about our…
By Rebecca Santiago

In Defense of Face Sitting

Y'all know about face-sitting, right — like, sitting on your partner's face while he/she performs oral on you? Yeah, that sometimes-fun thing that you probably prefer to do if you've groomed yourself day-of. So, I'm gonna level with you and admit…
By Rebecca Santiago

15 Things Only Serial Monogamists Understand

So, I'm a relationship girl. For evidence of this, please see the eleventy-billion years of relationships I've been in to date, and don't forget to track that timeline back to early elementary school. Yes, OK, I'm only in my early 20s — that's why…
By Rebecca Santiago

The Smartest Sex Tip You've Never Heard Before

Hey, you. Are you ready to learn the smartest sex tip in the history of sex tips? I swear, it's not what you're thinking. No, really — it has nothing to do with tongue technique or the frenulum or grapefruits or heated, flavored lube that lights up…
By Rebecca Santiago

Newsflash: Not All Women Love Receiving Oral

A disclaimer for my boyfriend, who is by no means off the hook: I enjoy quality, thorough oral sex. It's a pretty good time. But I've never been sold on the idea of cunnilingus (I know, that word, ugh, but would you really rather I use heinous…
By Rebecca Santiago

19 Things Every Woman Dating Someone Older Knows

A confession from potentially the most boring sex writer of all time: I have never dated an older guy. I mean, OK, my current boyfriend is two years older, and at times that's seemed sort of significant. For example, it was weird to realize that his…
By Rebecca Santiago

19 Types Of Orgasms, Ranked

Today, we're going to talk about orgasms, and the indisputable fact that some orgasms are approximately a million times better than others. I mean, no consensual (duh) orgasms are terrible orgasms, it's true, but there is definitely such a thing as…
By Rebecca Santiago

4 Chilling Love Stories, In Honor of Halloween

Yeah, yeah, urban legends are terrifying, but you know what else can be super spooky? Love gone wrong, that's what. I mean, you've seen Gone Girl, right? It may be an extreme example of how warped passion can get super scary, but I can say from…
By Rebecca Santiago

When You And Your Partner Are Too Alike In Bed

The worst lay my friend Cait claims ever to have had was with an objectively ravishing guy, and I don't use words like ravishing lightly. (Stud in question has a jawline that bears less resemblance to a normal human chin than to a select handful of…
By Rebecca Santiago

This Is What Giving Up Wine for a Month Feels Like

What is Sober October, you ask? Well, it's an idea that I thought I coined a few weeks ago, as though no other person could ever recognize that "sober" and "October" rhyme. Let's all raise a glass of O'Doul's to my extraordinarily high self-esteem,…
By Rebecca Santiago

I Researched the Best Music to Have Sex To

Silly me. I thought my boyfriend would be excited when I announced that we would be having sex to 15-20 musically variegated songs over the course of a few days for an assignment. "This is the dream, you know," I reminded him, not for the first…
By Rebecca Santiago

10 Role-Play Ready Halloween Costumes for Couples

From a purely economic standpoint, there's really no point in you and your significant other spending money on a couples Halloween costume that can't be used in the boudoir, too. This coming from a person who thinks the "Halloween means slut time"…
By Rebecca Santiago

I Did The Jasmine Tridevil Three-Boob Challenge

Want to sort out your true friends from the pretenders? Just tell them you want to go to a bar wearing a third boob, Jasmine Tridevil style, for the sake of journalism, and see who suddenly stops texting. Lest you've already forgotten about…
By Rebecca Santiago

Real People Try 'Cosmo' Sex Positions... In Public

Like most Manhattanites, I have a pretty love-hate relationship with my city. (You can get Thai food pretty much whenever or wherever you want, but drugstore shampoo costs about $15. Honestly?) But one of my favorite things about the concrete jungle…
By Rebecca Santiago

15 Sex Holidays You Should Be Celebrating

It was just brought to my attention that there is, in this glorious amalgam of united states, a high holy day dedicated to a form of cunnilingus. It's called National Sit On My Face Day, and it went down (tee hee) just this Friday. So, merry, merry,…
By Rebecca Santiago

I Had Sex In A Box To Improve My Sex Life

Unless you've been living under a rock, by which I mean "don't have creepy Google Alerts set for any and all sex-related topics" (such is the life of a sex blogger), you've heard all about/darkly obsessed over forthcoming WE TV show Sex Box. What's…
By Rebecca Santiago

Should You Stay in a Long-Distance Relationship?

I am something of an experiential authority on long-distance relationships, insofar as I keep getting myself into them regardless of how much they can totally suck. Once, I even talked to a therapist about it on the radio (I was an invited guest,…
By Rebecca Santiago