Entertainment

Here's Shia, Being Rapey. Classic Lars Von Trier.

I've talked before about how creepy Lars Von Trier's new movie Nymphomaniac is going to be, and although Shia LaBeouf won't be having real live sex in the movie, he's come pretty darn close already. But with the release of this new clip, we can be 100 percent guaranteed that this film will deliver some classic discomfort from Von Trier. Because, based on new footage, Nymphomaniac looks sexually disturbing.

Don't tell me this rape-y clip is just artistic. It might look pretty on a screen, but all those fucked up sexual images have to come from somewhere (apparently, Von Trier's dirty little mind). Watch the clip and tell me I'm wrong.

My biggest issue with Von Trier's treatment of sex? The female character very rarely has any choice in the matter. (See Kirsten Dunst's troubled marriage in Melancholia, and almost every sex scene in the least enjoyable movie to ever hit screens, Antichrist.) So here we are, with another clip from his newest movie, and yet again, a woman is being harassed and trapped in a sexual situation. Which isn't to say she doesn't necessarily want it. (Ugh, we blame you, Nymphomaniac, for making us sound like Robin Thicke.) It just means that within a little over a minute, this girl is being conned, by a man, ostensibly for sexual reasons. Being tied up might be sexy, but being trapped in an elevator by a man you don't know would certainly be less so.

Also, all we've received thus far are tiny little peeks at Von Trier's film. So though we know what to expect stylistically, we have very little idea of what to actually expect. The film could literally go anywhere — in fact, I suspect things will be put everywhere in the course of this movie (if you know what I mean). Because that's how Von Trier rolls, and even trying to suss out what will be assaulting our eyes is pretty much futile. Are you thinking some cheeky anal is in store, some daring S&M? Well, be sure that whatever naughty stuff you're expecting, Von Trier will, in all likelihood, blow it so far out of the water you can never even consider that sort of sex act again.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still be taking bets on what kind of kinky shit we'll see once Nymphomaniac hits theaters. I just think we'll still be shocked and horrified. It's even possible we'll never be able to watch a Shia LaBeouf movie again because, hey, it's Lars Von Trier and he pretty much does whatever the hell he wants.