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All Your Anal Questions, Answered

Britt Phillips/Bustle Stock Illustration

I’ll confess that the one time I tried anal sex, I determined that it wasn’t really my thing (too much information? Sorry. Good morning, everyone!). But plenty of people are into anal sex, while others are curious to try it out but have a whole bunch of questions (Does anal sex feel good? What about, um, poop?). Thankfully, Sex educator and YouTube personality Laci Green is doing a series of Pride Month editions of her web show “Sex +,” and wouldn’t you know it, this week, the topic is anal, or as she puts it, "BUTT STUFF!" What luck!

Green employed the help of fellow YouTuber Davey Wavey to answer all the questions you’ve ever had about anal sex, but were afraid to ask. You can watch the video below (and I highly recommend it — it’s both informative and entertaining), but for those of you who are somewhere (like church) where you might not necessarily be able to watch a video about anal sex, here are some of the highlights:

How can I make it less painful?

Mind over matter is maybe not the best way to put it. If you’re not mentally into the idea of having anal, your body will make it a lot harder to have it. As is the case with most sexytime activities, relaxation is really important — as is communication with your partner. Start slow and work your way up to it.

What kind of lube should I use?

Silicone-based lubes last longer, so they generally tend to be good for things like anal where you don’t want to have to reapply every five minutes (Davey’s go-to is Wet Platinum). However, note this, and note it well: Never, ever use silicon-based lube with silicone toys. The lube will degrade the toy and then you’ll be sad. Water-based lubes, however, are multipurpose — you can use it everywhere and with everything.

Does anal sex feel good for women?

Of course! It’s true that women don’t get the prostate stimulation men do, but if you’re into it, it’ll probably feel good regardless. Also, just like P-in-V sex, anal sex doesn’t have to be P-in-whatever orifice you’re using. The nerve endings are all located outside, so there are plenty of ways to have anal and make it feel good without necessarily putting a penis inside anything.

What about poop?

You may not want to engage in anal the day you had a Chipotle burrito, but if you’re mindful of what you’re putting into your body, you should be able to gauge (with experience) what the aftereffects will be. Anal might require a little planning, so, y’know, just be aware of that fact. Poop happens. So do involuntary pooping and farting. It’s just the way the body works.

Will butt sex ruin my butt forever?

As is the case with any sexual activity, yeah, you can injure yourself if you’re not careful — but as long as you’re not doing anything purposefully destructive, you’ll be fine. The bottom line: If it hurts, don’t do it.

How can I initiate butt sex or pegging?

The key is always communication and making sure its lines stay open. Do not pressure your partner(s), and always respect boundaries.

ALSO: Always use a condom. Anal is the highest risk sexual activity for the transmission of STIs. Safety first!

So there you have it. Laci has also done a “Butt Sex 101” video, so if you’ve got a few more questions about the nitty-gritty, that one’s a good place to start on your quest for further information. Now go forth, be safe, and have fun!