'Scandal' Without Wine Is Criminal

Get ready, gladiators! Scandal returns Thursday and that means it's time to whip out your Crate & Barrel glassware and bordeaux. The Scandal drinking game is on. But first, a little refresher on where we last left off:

It appeared that our favorite fixer, Olivia Pope, had finally fixed herself in a drunken, solo yolo dance party, blaze of glory. She declared, wine in hand, hips swaying, "I choose me!" It was a cathartic moment for a woman who spent the past three and a half seasons being pulled in two directions by two men. It's not that Olivia isn't an intelligent, independent and powerful woman, hell, she's a self-proclaimed feminist; Olivia's dependency on Jake and Fitz was a fool's errand of a chance at love and peace in the crazy life she had chosen for herself. While it's awful to watch such a smart woman make such stupid mistakes, even if we know that tale is told many times in real life, it was almost worth the pay off to finally see her choose herself over any of the selfish men in her life. Which is why it was all the more harrowing to see Olivia kidnapped mere moments after she finally was free.

Yes, Elizabeth North and Vice President Andrew Nichols had Olivia kidnapped in the midseason finale and, boy, is it going to be so much fun watching the gladiators, Jake, Fitz, Cyrus and the Pope family scramble to find her.

And now, for the game:

Necessary Supplies

• Precariously tall wine glass full of red wine
• An extra bottle of red wine (for refills, duh)
• A beautiful bowl of popcorn (for dinner)
• A bottle of presidential scotch

Take A Sip Of Red Wine Whenever...

• Olivia drinks red wine.
• Olivia eats popcorn.
• "The Republic" is mentioned.
• Olivia calls Fitz even though she shouldn't.
• Papa Pope appears on screen.
• Mama Pope appears on screen.
• David Rosen gets on his high horse.
• Elizabeth North manipulates someone.
• A a familiar '60s or '70s tune plays.
• Mellie insults Olivia.
• Olivia is wearing white.
• Harrison is referenced.

Do A Shot Of Scotch When...

• Fitz pours himself a glass.
• Cyrus "cannot even" anymore.
• Mellie scathingly tells Fitz to f--k off.
• Fitz tells Liv he loves her.
• Mellie takes control/schemes/plots.
• Cyrus calls Abby "Red."
• Mellie or Fitz mentions "Jerry."
• Mellie and Andrew pine for each other.
• "Vermont" is mentioned.
• Fitz insists he is "the most powerful man in the free world."

Take A Gulp Of Beer When . . .

• Jake cracks open a beer.
• "Command" is mentioned.
• Jake demands to know where Olivia is.
• "B613" is mentioned.
• Huck needlessly appears on screen.
• There's a press conference.
• Sexual tension brews between Abby and Leo.
• "Standing in the sun" is mentioned.
• "Gettysburger" is mentioned.
• Jake is shirtless.
• Someone is being spied on.

Finish The Glass When...

• Someone gives a speech.
• Olivia says, "It's handled."
• There's a montage.
• Someone is tortured.
• Cyrus and his new hubby engage sexually.
• Someone dies.
• "Kobiak" is mentioned.
• You are confused.
• There is an absurd, farcical twist.
• "Gladiators" is mentioned.
• Mellie's hair is completely ridiculous.

Images: ABC (Screenshot); Giphy (4)