Entertainment

Ranking 'OITNB' Prisoners By Their Prison Style

by Kayla Hawkins

One thing that Orange Is the New Black has managed to express visually throughout the series is that not even prison can take away some women's passion for fashion. Whether it's just a love for eyeliner or a full makeup routine, ranking the Orange is the New Black inmates by their personal style isn't easy because every single one has her own unique look. And each clique has their own style, too, from Red's crew having easier access to cosmetics (like Anita DeMarco's bright blue eyeshadow palette), to the frequent weave changes Sophia can offer the clients who have something really good to trade. In a way, prison style can suggest your place in the prison as much as job placement or even ethnicity.

Maybe I'm crazy, but the khaki prison uniforms aren't actually unworkable. There's different ways to wear them, from Poussey's crewneck sweatshirt over baggy pants to the way Alex rolls up her shirtsleeves over long johns. Add in the contraband like extra makeup, tweezers to pluck eyebrows, and the occasional piece of jewelry, and there's no way to mistake Maria Ruiz for Daya Diaz or Angie for Maureen. As is the nature of this type of list, not all the inmates are included, because not all of the inmates seem to care about their personal style. Inmates like Gina, Blanca, or Chang have a unique look, but don't really adhere to any prison style compared to this top 20 of the most stylish — or, at least, uniquely styled — inmates at Litchfield.

20. Leanne

The teeth (and her treatment of Soso!) knock her down to the bottom of this list, but if Leanne had access to her Pennsylvania Dutch bonnet, she'd look perfectly fine (minus the teeth).

19. Gloria

I know Gloria made fun of her practical prison haircut, but it's fitting since she's the resident "mom" of the Latinas.

18. Frieda

I love Frieda's octopus tattoo, but the choice of visible gray roots all the time does not scream style.

17. Piper

Let's be honest, Piper puts basically no work into her look. And after re-watching some of the first season, she was doing something much better with her hair back then — as of Season 3, she could use a deep conditioning treatment.

16. Pennsatucky

Chopping off her long hair was a good choice.

15. Daya

Her prison look is simple, and mostly boils down to her one bright yellow highlight. But, even though she's spent the last three seasons pregnant, I feel like she's still looked pretty good, and that's impressive.

14. Aleida

She might hands down be the worst person in the prison, but there's no denying that after four kids, she looks amazing. And, I don't know how her hair looks like that even after working hours in the kitchen.

13. Suzanne

Even though she's no longer under Vee's spell, Suzanne made the right choice to keep the braids. That, paired with her trademark sleeves with thumbholes, make for a look that distinguishes Warren from everyone else.

12. Black Cindy

After the revelation that she does her own hair, Black Cindy's constantly changing look is more impressive.

11. Soso & Poussey (Tie)

These two are unspeakably naturally beautiful but have basically no beauty regimen. It's wildly unfair that even in prison they look this good, but they can't crack the top ten for the au natural look.

10. Taystee

Taystee might rank higher if not for the heinous weave she got after being peer-pressured into leaving Sophia's salon. Of course without much makeup, Danielle Brooks' natural gorgeousness just does most of the work.

9. Boo

Even though Boo might not have a feminine look, she does still stick close to her out-of-prison style, minus the impressive pompadour seen in her flashback. And, as that flashback proved, Boo's self-expression is everything to her.

8. Maritza

Missing half of her finger just adds a little prison-y edge to her otherwise cute girl at the mall look.

7. Nicky

On any other inmate, the mascara raccoon effect wouldn't work, but of course Natasha Lyonne's huge expressive eyes just look more expressive with the smudging.

6. Flaca

She seemingly never leaves her bunk without her goth teardrops painted on her face. Definitely unique!

5. Alex

The perfect hair, eyeliner, and librarian glasses may be simple, but they work. And, extra points for keeping those very dramatic eyebrows plucked at all times.

4. Red

She might not have the most conventional look, but she certainly knows how to look intimidating as hell — and that's a worthy style choice when you want respect.

3. Lorna

Morello's beauty routine took a temporary hiatus while she was mourning the loss of Nicky, but then she managed to bounce back with a variety of new looks for her new boyfriends.

2. Stella

As much as I never saw Stella's greater purpose in Season 3, it can't be denied that she manages to perfectly maintain a buzz cut in prison, makes even the khaki jumpsuits look chic, and of course, her whole body is practically a work of art.

1. Sophia

As basically a professional makeup artist/hairstylist, of course Sophia would manage to go "full MAC counter" every day in prison. And, as we saw over the course of the season, that's her way of expressing her authentic self and of proving her worth to the rest of the prison community. And, she does a damn good job even with little resources.

Images: Jojo Whilden, Jill Greenberg/Netflix (13); Giphy (7)