Music

A Deeply Scientific Investigation Into Alex Turner’s Many, Many Hairdos

A true lock ‘n’ roll star.

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Arctic Monkeys have been going for 20 years now, and in that time, their frontman has turned out some first-rate mops — from this frankly mesmerising quiff to the emo-inspired throwbacks that haunt us all. So, let’s hold his hair in deep devotion with a whistle-stop tour through the highlights. Pun intended!

The Indie Sleaze

As Maria once warbled in The Sound of Music, let’s start at the very beginning — a very good place to start. This combed-forward mop from 2006 is the newly-revived Indie Sleaze movement encapsulated in a single hairstyle. Top marks.

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The Super Textured ’Do

What in the name of super-strength hair gel is going on here? This avant-garde masterpiece, also from 2006, deserves a spot in the Tate Modern.

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The Curly-Burns

This look, circa 2007, is just like, y’know, regular sideburns — only curly.

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The Mop Top

Fun fact: While touring Arctic Monkeys’ 2009 album, Humbug, Turner briefly disappeared under the heft of his impeccably conditioned locks.

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The Emo Years

Anybody who used to have a MySpace account covered in Arctic Monkeys lyrics will be hit hard by this particular look from 2011 — as seen in mirror-phone selfies everywhere.

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The Danny Zuko

Turner’s “Greased Lightning” moment, also from 2011 (a productive year, hair-wise!), feels so culturally significant that it deserves its own little blue plaque.

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The Stranger Things

Steve Harrington, is that you?

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The Goatee

Alex Turner’s 2018-era facial hair proved so divisive that fans started an entire petition urging him to shave it off — but personally, I’m here for Mr. Tumnus’ rocker phase.

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The Close Shave

Another opinion-splitter, old Alex broke thousands of hearts when he chopped off his lustrous locks.

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The Off-Duty Superhero

Just look at Turner’s latest ’do and tell me you can’t see hints of Tom Holland when he’s not dressed up as Spider-Man.

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