12 Unrealistic TV Sex Scenes from 'True Blood, 'Lost,' and More

Sure, the duo's Season 3 sex scene was hot. But so was the the Island's weather, which means Kate (Evangeline Lilly) and Sawyer (Josh Holloway) could have definitely used a Dharma deodorant swipe or two before choosing to do the deed. But the B.O.-laden hook-up was hardly TV's only unrealistic sex scene — read on to see 11 more that made us wonder if all TV writers are virgins. [Image: ABC]

Sookie and Bill, 'True Blood'

Turns out there’s nothing that turns on Sookie (Anna Paquin) more than the undead becoming undead, which is exactly why she got literally down and dirty with Bill (Stephen Moyer) after he emerged alive from his grave in Season 1. A vampire and a fairy having sex might seem unrealistic enough, but do they realize how tough dirt stains are to kill? [Image: HBO]

Don, Doris, and an Unnamed Jingle Writer, 'Mad Men'

Jon Hamm’s Don bagging two women in one night is certainly plausible — but while drunk on a days-long bender in Season 4? Even Kodak would have to admit Don’s not that good. [Image: AMC]

Mike and Rachel, 'Suits'

There’s hardly enough room for your law firm’s files in that closet — how are you going to fit a whole woman on those uncomfortable metal shelves, Mike (Patrick J. Adams)? [Image: USA]

Nate and Brenda, 'Six Feet Under'

In ‘Six Feet Under’s pre-9/11 Season 1 existence, it might have been plausible that two people who had never met (Peter Krause and Rachel Griffiths) would have sex in a janitor’s closet at the airport. Now, there’s no way Nate would be able to walk around with a pointy object around TSA. [Image: HBO]

Ally and a Stranger, 'Ally McBeal'

Ally’s (Calista Flockhart) intense sex drive (heh) drove her straight into the car wash, where she had sex with a random stranger in the first episode of Season 3. If you saw the whipping cleaning strips of a car wash in action, you’d know not to try this at home, no matter how many times Cosmo endorses hot wax. [Image: FOX]

Kalinda and Nick, 'The Good Wife'

Nick (Marc Warren) attempts to heat up his wife (Archie Panjabi) with a cold finger-full of ice cream… in the middle of a diner. We will hardly scoff at public displays of affection, but, still, the Season 4 scene is unrealistic — no one would support wasting of a perfectly good ice cream cone, Nick. [Image: ABC]

Jeanie and Herself, 'Louie'

Oh, you know, that thing when you go to to a coffee shop with a woman (Chloë Sevigny) who loudly begins masturbates without warning. [Image: FX]

David and Maddie, 'Moonlighting'

The risk of 50 shards of glass is hardly the only reason no one would ever be over the moon to have sex on a glass coffee table, like David (Bruce Willis) and Maddie (Cybill Shepherd) did in Season 3. Not only does it apparently suck the excitement out of any relationship (‘Moonlighting’ famously sunk after the will-they-won’t-they couple finally did), but there isn’t enough Windex in the world that could clean up that mess. [Image: ABC]

Buffy and Spike, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'

We’ve heard of sex that knocks your socks off — but never sex that knocks your house down. [Image: WB]

Tamara and Eddie, 'The Real Housewives of Orange County'

You didn’t need the cameras to tell you how unreal the reality show’s Season 6 bathtub sex scene was. Nope, Eddie’s excessive wine swigging proved just how forced the awkward, on-camera tryst really was. [Image: Bravo]

Izzy and Denny, 'Grey's Anatomy'

Two words: Ghost sex. [Image: ABC]