Think getting over your ex is just too easy? Here's an app for you! Seriously, I'm a little confused by this. It's called Shryne, which is maybe the creepiest name I've ever heard for a dating-related app (that little "y" isn't fooling anybody). It lets you keep all of your Facebook messages, Instagram photos, emails, texts, and pretty much anything else to do with you and your ex all in one place. As Jezebel says, "Shryne has the ability to create archives for all cyber communication between you and your ex. If you’d rather put it away in some sort of online shoe box instead of deleting them, it has a 'freeze' feature which will temporarily hide all of your texts, emails, Google Hangout history, Facebook photos and other social media channels for a year."
In the app's defense, it's not just for exes. You can create little portfolios for friends, family, whomever you like. It's pretty labor intensive, though. You link it to all your accounts, and then pick what you want to be included for that person from all your Facebook photos, email, and so forth. I could see it as a nice scrapbook for friends and family that's not filled with distracting status updates from your second grade best friends's brother, like Facebook is. But for exes? It just sounds like a torture device. My breakup strategy normally involves locking myself up with the Harry Potters and bottomless french fries, but if you need some support, we have you covered.
Here are some ex apps for those of you who want to get over them more than you want to remember them:
1. Breakup Rx
This full-service breakup app aims to give you everything you need during a rough patch, including introducing you to other singles who may be feeling brokenhearted. According to The Daily Dot, Breakup Rx "presents a 30-day plan for relationship recovery, featuring tips, hints, and activities to help you get over your ex."
2. Ex Love Blocker
If you really need someone to keep an eye on you, this app enlists your friends for help. As Time says: "A Brazilian company made an app in June 2012 that alerts your friends when you try to call your ex. If you try to work around the alert, the app publicly shames you on Facebook for trying to reach out to your old flame." That's pretty rough, but desperate times ...
3. Never Liked It Anyway
Some thought my mom's irreverence was over the top when she had her old wedding ring melted down and refashioned into the most expensive toe ring of all time, but this may beat her out. Basically, it lets you sell all of the old crap your ex gave you online. Because ritually burning it over Ben & Jerry's just isn't as lucrative.
4. Block Your Ex
Okay, this is the nuclear option. According to Your Tango, "this browser-based plugin shuts down their Twitter, Facebook and blog accounts all in one digital clean sweep. Best of all, it can be customized for up to five exes, hiding all trace of them from your corner of the web." Wow. So if you really want to clean house, this seems like the way to do it.
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