The Easiest Way To Be Better In Bed

by Aly Walansky

Many of us want to have better sex, and while we'd love to push that responsibility onto our partner, a lot of the ball (so to speak!) remains in our court. Vocalizing your pleasure during sex is a seductive (and easy) way to improve your skills in bed. However, says sex expert Dana Myers, many women sush themselves about it in the heat of the moment. "She either feels too shy, doesn’t have the word choices that feel comfortable, or perhaps she’s worried what her lover will think of her when she unleashes a ‘dirtier’ vocabulary. But when you tell your partner exactly what you want, what you love, (and even what you want less of!), in the heat of the moment, you instantly allow your sex to rise to a whole new level of hot," she says.

The key to good sex is setting the mood and hitting the right spots, of course, but also communication plays a huge role. "Your lover wants to hear you express your pleasure in the moment — be it through moans, sighs, or descriptive phrases detailing exactly what’s feeling amazing. It gives him direct cues on how to please you even more, and that in turn, brings you closer together in your intimate connection, which quickly equals BETTER SEX. Voila — no fancy new sex moves necessary for you to be be better in bed —just let go of your verbal inhibitions and be willing to express yourself!" says Myers.

1. Use Lube

If you still believe there is a stigma attached to using lubricant during intercourse, you’re missing out on more sexual pleasure and more orgasms. "Despite what you may have heard, our natural lubrication is not an indication of our arousal. The fact is, using extra lubricant enhances your sexual enjoyment, reduces pain during sex and increases the probability that you’ll reach orgasm," says Emily Morse, sexologist, host of the Sex With Emily podcast, author Hot Sex Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight.

2. Be Present

If you find yourself lost in negative or critical thoughts in the bedroom, whether about your body or your performance, you could be sabotaging your sex life. "Go back to your breath, focus on what you’re feeling in your body in the moment," says Morse. You can redirect your thoughts and retrain your mind to be more present and have better more connected sex with your partner.

3. Try Some Toys

Adding toys into your sex life will not only mix things up in the bedroom, but will also guarantee some new sensations, more variety and more orgasms all around.

4. Foreplay All Day

Here’s the thing about foreplay: It’s less of a suggestion than it is a requirement. "Women don’t just like foreplay, they NEED it, so you should work on infusing foreplay into your daily routine. That doesn’t mean you need to squeeze in some quick oral on your lunch break (although that could be fun, too!) It can be as simple as exchanging a sexy text messages about what you’d like to do later or sharing a specific memory you have from the last time you were together. The more you think of foreplay as a process, rather than a few minutes of physical touch, the more satisfied you’ll be in the bedroom. For women, foreplay is not only about physical intimacy but emotional intimacy as well, so make efforts to connect more throughout the day you’ll be raring to go when you see each other again," says Morse.

5. Communicate

This the easiest way to be better in bed. "Making a partner aware of what works and what doesn't work in bed is a sure way to see better results. All it takes is a simple conversation that is open, honest and straight forward to go from a lackluster experience to fireworks every time," says sex expert Tyomi Morgan.

6. Try A New Position

This is a simple way to improve anyone's sex life, says Morgan. If missionary is the go-to position, it's time to switch it up. There are hundreds of variations of sex positions that couples can enjoy in the bedroom.

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