How to Glitter Harder than Everyone Else at the Party


Two days ago, I read this article that I swear was written by a maniac. It was called something like "Wear Less Glitter, People" or "Glitter Should Be Toned Down in a Serious Way" or "Glitter for Real Grinches," and the basic premise was that we should all be wearing glitter subtly. I kid you not. Subtle? Glitter? The entire point of glittering is to have all eyes on you, all the time, can't stop, won't stop, queen of the universe, do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again full-blown narcissistic sparkly nirvana.

Glitter isn't a kid's game any more, people. There can only be one "glitteriest," and if that's a title you want for yourself, you better work. Maybe you consider yourself a pretty glittery person already -- after all, you totally know the best thrift stores to find sequined horrors from the 80s and you own Makeup Forever's loose glitter in all 13 shades. But in this over-sequined age, that's simply not enough. I'm here to help you get even sparklier, because when it comes to being the glitteriest in the room, you must leave no stone unbedazzled.

Start out by highlighting…everything

Cheekbones, brow bones, ridge of the nose, collarbone, shoulders, down the arms, down the legs, over your entire face…

BECCA Shimmering Skin Perfector Pressed in Limited Edition Rose Gold, $38,

Add a little more color with a glittery blush

It's got gold specks in it. Call it a Midas glow.

Nars Blush in Miss Liberty, $29,

Smooth some tasteful glitter gel over each eyelid

You didn't hear this from me, but you can let one layer dry and then add another for an even sparklier finish.

Vegan Glitter Makeup Gel, $6.99,

Now line the eyes

Bonus points for using a different metallic than your eyeshadow.

Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Liner, $19,

Obviously, your manicure should be high-wattage, too

Gesticulate like Beyoncé.

Marc Jacobs Beauty Enamored Hi-Shine Nail Lacquer in Glinda, $18,

Now don a glittery floor length skirt

But why has this woman chosen to pair it with such a simple top? Some people never learn.

Sequin Maxi Skirt, $64,

Better yet, make it a floor-length dress

It doesn't say "Look at me!" so much as scream it.

Jenny Packham Light Slate Allover Sequined Gown, $1,848,

The shoes must sparkle

Click them three times, and you're Liberace's best friend.

Kate Spade Dina, $350,

Disco ball earrings are a necessity

Although let's be real, you're the only true disco ball here.

Rose Gold Tone Small Cubic Zirconia Disco Ball Drop Earrings, $49.99,

That was exhausting -- break for chocolate

Welcome to the world of edible glitter.

La Maman Glitter Truffles, $37,

Don't forget that hair can sparkle, too

It's not tacky until someone sees the bottle.

Multi-Glitter Hair Spray, $3.99,

Finally, top it all off with a sensible jacket in case you get cold

A responsible, goes-with-anything jacket, just like your mother wore to Studio 54.

80s Black Disco Sequin Jacket, $44,