Raise your hand if you have ever wanted a unicorn. Now raise your hand if someone once crushed your dreams by telling you unicorns don’t exist. Well despair no more fellow unicorn-lovers! Two unicorns are currently for sale on Craigslist. At last, all of our childhood dreams are coming true. Well, assuming you have a cool $1.8 million lying around. The unicorns must be sold together — naturally, since how could anyone want to separate them — and cost $930,000 apiece. So everyone, quick, break open your piggy banks!
The ad promises both unicorns are purebred and from “the only fully licensed unicorn breeder in North America,” as certified by the NUBAA, which we assume stands for something like National Unicorn Breeders Association of America. Apparently they are located in Goffstown, which appears to be in New Hampshire.
The ad also warns that these unicorns, a three year old male name Pagaesus and a five year old female named Daisy, have been hand fed for their entire lives and will “require just as much attention if you do decide to welcome a unicorn into your home.” It also ask for “SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY PLEASE.” And you know they mean it BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN ALL CAPS.
But the keen investigative minds at Bustle have a few questions. Such as: Why does the town of Goffstown not advertise the presence of North America’s only licensed unicorn breeders in their town? And, are these unicorns trained to assist on magical quests and/or heroic adventures? Are they friends with the unicorns in the Enchanted Forest in Harry Potter? And does the nine-month waiting list the ad mentions mean that there will soon be other unicorns for sale?
Also, since there are also unicorn eggs for sale, how much might those cost? And how tricky is it to hatch a unicorn?
These are important things, guys! We need to know! And most importantly of all: does anyone want to loan me $1.8 million dollars? I’ll let you ride the unicorns, I promise.