'Terminator' Franchise Reboot AND a TV Show? Stop.

Oh, good. Just what nobody was asking for but we're going to get it anyway! The Terminator reboot that we all should've known those unoriginal types at the top would want, is not only going to be a series of movies, but also a television show. Because somebody forgot to float that "hey, watch out: oversaturation is a thing" memo to the folks over at Skydance Productions. Good grief.

Skydance and Annapurna Pictures — the two companies bringing you the soon-to-be Terminator reboot trilogy, because why make just one when you can squeeze all of the money and credibility from the good name you've got three times over? — are said to be crossing the franchise over to the small screen as well, probably as some sort of companion piece to the reboot. Both iterations are slated to come out sometime in 2015.

So let me get this straight, not only do we have to accept the fact that this is just the way this shit is now, where the only things that are made are action films and remakes and sequels and prequels to preexisting movie doings, we have to wait until 2015 to experience (read: judge harshly and with disdain) it? You guys are turning bad life decisions into a long game. Somebody needs to shut this shit down. This is enough, Hollywood. Enough. You can stop wondering where "all the good writers have gone" because the answer is right in front of you: you've literally pushed them away by disallowing their own creativity.

Not only that, but the two aspects of Terminator-mania will — of course! — eventually cross into each other. Why overdo it on one platform when you can do it on all of them at once! That's not a bloated way of assaulting the viewing audience at all. The series' premise jumps off from an allegedly critical moment from the original film, but will spin off into something else entirely. Eventually, as the stories progress (on big screen and small), there will be some sort of intersect that will play out (one can only assume) on both platforms.

Listen, we're all for clever shit like this: the idea itself is actually sort of original and, were it the right project, could be very, very cool. Especially in the world of grand-scale storytelling that most science fiction media falls into. And, we get it: studios need and want to make money, and we all know that's priority number one. But when it's done in such a cloyingly obvious play to maximize revenue regardless of fan interest, it feels like yet another cheap trick. And since rebooting an entire film series just because you've got a guaranteed, built-in fan interest is already a very obvious ploy, throwing another onto the flames just feels like an insult to our intelligence and ability to make decisions for ourselves. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, fuck you I don't want to watch your movie.

There's certainly an argument that this is not a totally original idea — hello, entire Marvel universe and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. — but considering their timing, loyalty to the stories, and expertise in a fluctuating universe most comic books live in, it makes a bit more sense. (Even if we're not, personally, a fan of what has basically turned out to be NCIS: Marvel.) They didn't put the cart before the horse; their loyalties, first and foremost, were with telling a story. Not selling a brand and hoping you will over-consume it because this is America and that's just what we do here.

Image: Orion Pictures