6 Sexile Rules To Set Up With Your Roommate Now, So You Can Save Yourself A Ton Of Drama Later
Most people prefer a little privacy when there is an opportunity to get laid. In college, having a roommate (and sometimes two roommates) in a cramped space makes it difficult to get any privacy at all — which is why it's important to set up sexile rules to follow with your college roommate now, so that you can both get the privacy you need with minimal dramz.
You shouldn't feel guilty or embarrassed about this — at all. Everyone needs time to themselves, whether it's to have sex, or just to be alone with some peace and quiet. Just because you share a room doesn't mean you need to share it 24/7. And just like your roommate, you both need privacy from time to time.
The key to making this work without stirring up any trouble is clear communication, mutual respect, and patience. You both need to establish some basic rules and boundaries that you're both comfortable with, and as long as that continues throughout the school year and throughout college, you're golden. However, there will occasionally be issues that arise, and resentment will inevitably follow unless you know how to diffuse it immediately. Rather than let things build up, it's important to be open with your roommates about your feelings and needs, because you're adults now, and you should be able to communicate clearly and confidently. Here's how to politely sexile your roommate sans drama.
Step 1: Establish a sexile signal
You need a way to let your roommate know that you're busy getting busy, and she should not enter the room during this time — and vice versa. Whether it's a sock, a sign, or a scrunchie, choose an item together, and use it as your designated sexile signal.
Step 2: Come up with some basic rules
Creating these rules with your roommate is a fun and slightly awkward bonding experience that will help you both avoid tense confrontations. If your roommate needs to be in the room during certain days and times, then respectfully keep that in mind when you're trying to score.
Step 3: Once in a while, take the sexytime elsewhere
Why does sex always have to take place in your room? Head back to your partner's place once in a while, so you're not always kicking your roomie out.
Step 4: Have a backup location for studying/relaxing designated for both of you if the room is occupied
There is nothing worse than being sexiled unexpectedly, and not knowing where to go to wait it out. Make sure you both have a comfortable and safe location to retreat to until the sexile ends.
Step 5: Offer a trade
If you know you're the one who has been doing most of the sexiling, offer to make it up to your roommate with a night out at the bar, a pizza, or a week of morning coffees — something that shows her how much you appreciate her patience and understanding.
Step 6: Be brutally honest when needed
If one of you is taking advantage of the sexiling setup, and it's putting the other one out, then you need to sit down and have a talk. Be brutally honest about what's bothering you, and lay it all out there. You might argue, but you'll both feel better after being heard.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast,I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
Image: Tamara Alvarez/Flickr; Giphy (6)