Yeah, Sure, Jen, That Was A "Birthday Party"

by Nicole Pomarico

Well, guys, it finally happened. Almost exactly three years after getting engaged, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are married — reportedly. According to TMZ, guests were invited to a surprise birthday party that Aniston was throwing for Theroux's 44th birthday, and arrived only to realize that it was actually their wedding. Reportedly, the couple went to some seriously ambitious lengths to keep their nuptials under wraps, including (but not limited to) building a shed to hide all of the party supplies and decorations and confiscating the phones of everyone working on the event for the week leading up to it. But now, the cat's out of the bag. It definitely seems like Theroux and Aniston are married, and my only regret is that it wasn't televised... especially considering their super impressive guest list.

And even though People has confirmed (via their "sources") that Aniston and Theroux did, in fact, tie the knot, neither the newlyweds themselves nor their reps have actually released a statement. At this point, it might as well still be a "party," except for the photographic evidence we already have pretty much proves that it's a wedding.

Bustle has reached out to their reps for comment, but have yet to receive any word on what's really going on here. Either way, the photos from the event make it pretty clear: This was totally a wedding.

The Wedding Cake Toppers

Let's be real: If it was just Theroux's birthday, why would his cake need two puppets on top? Just saying.

Their Backyard Looked An Awful Lot Like A Wedding

If this was a birthday party, it was the fanciest birthday party I've ever seen in my life.

The Guest List Was Ridiculous

If you flip through TMZ's slideshow, it seems that Aniston invited every single person important in her life to this thing, which might not necessarily have happened if it was just a birthday party. Guys, Ellen was there. This is real.

A Member Of The Clergy Was There

Clearly, this dude is there to officiate over the ceremony, not to do body shots off of Lisa Kudrow and watch Theroux blow out the candles on his birthday cake.

My only hope at this point is that these two confirm their wedding ASAP and then provide us with the photos of Aniston in her wedding dress that we are all obviously clamoring for. Please?! I'll be waiting.