A Katy Perry Christmas Album Might Be Happening, So What Would It Sound Like? — LISTEN
On Monday, Grammy-less Super Bowl halftime show chanteuse Katy Perry borderline hinted she's recording a Christmas album on Instagram. Immediately, visions of bikini-clad sugar plums shooting whipped cream out of their boobs began to dance in my head. Normally, I'm not the kind of person who gets excited about pop stars doing Christmas music (let's face it, no one is ever going to top Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You") but, as a long-time Perry fan (who isn't afraid to poke fun at her from time to time!), I'm a little intrigued. What would a Katy Perry Christmas album sound like, I wonder?
Unfortunately, I have a feeling it would sound pretty boring, actually. Womp, womp. The track list would probably feature a fairly standard mix of religious and secular classics with one or two mediocre original songs thrown in as an afterthought. Super lame, right? But what if it weren't super lame? What if it were super AWESOME, instead? What if the 30-year-old singer took a bunch of our favorite Christmas tunes and re-wrote the lyrics to make them totally Perry-tastic?? Now THAT is a Christmas album I could get excited about!
Before we get started, please enjoy this video of Perry mangling "All I Want for Christmas Is You" at a karaoke bar to get you in the Christmas spirit:
Now that you're sufficiently filled with holiday cheer, let's take a gander at a few Perryrific Christmas covers that the star absolutely must record for her rumored LP:
"Left Shark The Sharkman" ("Frosty The Snowman" Cover)
Left Shark the Sharkman
Was a shark who upstaged me at the Bowl
But no hard feelings, got an Emmy nomination
"Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" (Plastic Bag Remix)
Rockin' around the Christmas tree
At the Christmas party hop
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?
Nope, never, I'm a human being
"All I Want For Christmas Is A Grammy" ("All I Want For Christmas Is You" Cover)
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I'm talking about a Grammy
Gimme, gimme, gimme, please
I just want one for my own
"Who Let the Dogs Out?" won a Grammy, what the actual f@#$?
I can shoot whipped cream out of my boooooobs!
All I want for Christmas... is a Grammy
Will she finally win a golden gramophone for her upcoming holiday smash, "I Kissed Mrs. Claus (And I Liked It)"?
Perhaps a little Christmas magic is just what she needs. Stay tuned, KatyCats.
Images: Giphy (5)