Given the number of times I've used myself as a guinea pig for wacky personality tests, it was only a matter of time before I made my cat take a personality test, too — so that's exactly what I started off today doing. We all know that cats all have distinctive personalities — perhaps even more so than any other pet — but now, we possess the means by which to determine what overall types those countless personalities fall under. Created by Poopy Cat, which gets my vote for Best Company Name Ever, the online “Intercative Experiment” personality test purports to be able to tell you everything you could possibly want to know about your feline pal… as long as you can get it to sit still long enough to take the quiz in the first place.
About that: Do you have any idea how hard it actually is to make your cat sit still long enough to take a personality test? Because however hard you think it is, it's harder. A lot harder. Cats generally do not like doing anything unless they think it was their idea to do it, so most of them don't take kindly to being held in front of a computer screen by their intensely bizarre human. It's a good thing that one of my two cats has a relatively high tolerance for nonsense; Nymeria, the younger one (seen up top), is a weirdo, but she's much more likely to put up with me parking her in front of a strange object in the name of “science” than the older one, Arya, is (see: Exhibit A, “cat music"). Arya tends to be more like this:
The personality test itself is a combination of what I would call passive and active questions. The passive ones simply ask you about your cat's general behavior (do they like to play? How much? What do they do at night?); the active ones, meanwhile, present your cat with a specific stimulus and ask you to gauge your cat's reaction. The format is a little flawed, but hey, you've got to work with what you've got — so for the curious, here's how the whole “What's my cat's personality?” experiment worked out for me and my fuzzy buddy:
The Questions:
I'll be honest: I think the test was far longer than it needed to be, and significantly longer than any cat's attention span. As such, I won't walk you through every single question; here, however, are a few highlights:
1. Buzz Buzz
This is an example of what I've previously referred to as an active question: First, it presented my cat with the image you see in the background, which was animated and featured the loud and irritating noise of a bunch of bees or flies buzzing around; then it asked me how she reacted to it.
However, it became apparent right off the bat that this type of question, however clever, was also flawed given the testing conditions. I chose the small reaction here, because that's what happened; Nym was kind of curious, but didn't start batting my screen or anything, likely because she was busy thinking, “Why are you holding me in front of this strange object, human? I do not understand, and I am not sure I like it.” However, I know from experience that when there's an actual bug in the house, she will stop at nothing to get it. Seriously, you guys. She'll jump all over the furniture if she has to — and after she's finished with a successful hunt, she'll hunker down and eat her kill.
It's gross. But it's also kind of funny.
Aaaaaaanyway. Moving on.
2. The Great Outdoors
Both my cats are indoor cats, although that's mostly out of necessity; we live in an apartment, so we don't really have any fenced-in outdoor areas for them to explore safely.
3. Other Cats
This active question featured a loud cat meow, which made both Nym and Arya, who was lying on the floor some distance away, start looking around for the source of the noise. They didn't start talking back or anything, though if it had gone on longer, they probably would have gotten a little more riled up.
Fun fact: I downloaded a “cat translator” app once, but ultimately had to uninstall it — my cats just couldn't deal with the fact that they could hear another cat, but could not for the life of them figure out where the other cat was. It was pathetic, and I felt bad for torturing them with it. I'm sorry, cats. That was awful of me.
4. Other People
Arya will run and hide whenever someone other than my boyfriend or I is in the house; Nym, however? She's a total attention hog. She might show a little trepidation at first, but she gets over it quickly — mostly because she knows that she'll get even more attention than she usually does.
5. SNAAAAACKS!
My cats flip out whenever they hear the crinkle of a treats bag. I felt bad for teasing them with it during this interactive question, actually, so I went and gave them both a few afterward. It's only fair.
6. Cuddles
Nym loves cuddles, but generally it has to be her idea for her to warm up to it — which is true of most cats, I would argue.
7. The Dreaded Vacuum Monster
Neither of my cats likes the vacuum, but at least Nym doesn't run from it in terror. To Arya, it is the Greatest Evil That Ever Lived, so obviously the only way to deal with it is to hide until it goes away.
8. Playtime
Oh god. She is a maniac. Which is hilarious, because her results were…
The Results:
According to Poopy Cat's interactive cat personality test, Nymeria is a Cuddle Bug. Described as not just sweet, but “the sweetest,” Cuddle Bugs “are able to show affection and receive cuddles from anybody willing to lend their hands.” They're not generally trouble-makers; they purr loudly when you pet them (accurate — Nym sounds like a little motor when she's happy), and they trust their humans completely. Awwww, how nice!
Interestingly, though, I feel the same caveat that applies to most human personality tests applies to cat personality tests, too: We're all more than the sum of our parts. Comparatively speaking, Nym is kind of a cuddle bug; she's generally very friendly, and her favorite part of the day is when she gets to curl up between my boyfriend and I while we're reading in bed before we turn out the light. However, she's also incredibly active — she runs around; she wrestles with her toys (and also with my arms and legs); she plays fetch with those little foam rubber soccer ball things; and when she was a kitten, she'd get so hyper that it was like she had to run around or else she would explode (all that energy had to go somewhere). While it's true that she's gotten a little less hyperactive as she's gotten older, she still has these sorts of tendencies — so even though the description of the Cuddle Bug notes that “sweet behavior does not mean active playtime,” it definitely does for my particular buddy.
There's also this: In retrospect, I may have gone about this whole experiment the wrong way; although I was able to get something of a read on Nym's reactions, she was generally more preoccupied with why I was insisting on holding her for an extended amount of time than with the stimulus presented by the test. Maybe I even should have used Arya as a test subject, observing her reactions from afar; although she couldn't see the visual part of each question from where she was lying on the floor, she definitely perked up her ears and started looking around for the source of the sound whenever she heard something new.
Then again, maybe there's only so much we can expect from our cats. They're our friends in their own, unique ways — and that, really, is enough.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some treats to go dole out.
Images: Lucia Peters/Bustle; Giphy (2)
