A mere few weeks ago, the high in Los Angeles was a comfortable 75 degrees. It was gorgeous outside. Oh, how I miss those days. Y'all, it’s H-O-T in L.A. right now. Before I switched on the tiny A/C unit perched on my windowsill (the A/C unit may be small, but it sure puts up a fight), it was 90 degrees inside my apartment this afternoon. As I type these very words, it's 100 degrees outside. This heat wave has no chill. Literally. And because the weather has no chill, I have no chill. And that lack of chill can be summed up by the Ariana Grande GIFs below. (Why Ari? Uh, because I love her. That's why. I'm too sweaty to argue. Can we just move on?)
If it wasn't for heat waves, summer would be a perfect season. Swimming? Big fan. Backyard barbecues? I'll take a hot dog and three scoops of potato salad, thanks. Music festivals? The best. Warm weather? I dig it. But the monster that is the heat wave? It can take a long walk off a short, booby trap-lined pier. I do not appreciate heat waves.
Do you know what I do appreciate? Ariana Grande GIFs. Let's GIF to this list already.
When You Take A Look At The Day’s Forecast:
Seriously, is this weather necessary? Do we really have to do this again?
When Your Go-To Local Weatherperson Tells You The Heat Wave Has Only Just Begun:
What’s that? You say we have six more days of this nonsense? LALALALALALALA DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT LALALALALALALALA.
When You Already Want To Take A Nap At 1 P.M.:
It doesn't take long for the heat 'n' humidty combo to sap every last bit of my energy.
When You Can’t Stop Stating The Obvious:
Don’t mind me as I complain about the weather 10 million more times today.
When The Thought Of Leaving The House Overwhelms You:
Yes, I could go somewhere with central A/C. Yes, that ice cold coffee shop down the street sounds really nice. But getting there will require effort. I don't have the energy to make an effort at anything right now. I'd much rather continue to not move my body as I lie on the cool tile of the kitchen, thanks.
When You Start Fanning Yourself From The Moment You Wake Up:
My handheld fan isn’t as glamorous as Ari's; I’m more of a folded up takeout menu gal.
When There’s No Such Thing As “Too Much Loose Powder”:
Must... absorb... every... last... shiny... bead... of... perspiration.
When You Twirl Around In Circles To Create A Mini Breeze:
Sure, it works up a sweat, but that wind is so nice.
When You Refuse To Remove Your Sunglasses Indoors:
No, it’s not because I’m trying to be *~too cool for school~*. It’s because my gel eyeliner is a runny, melty disaster and I don’t want to subject my fellow Target customers to that mess.
When You Start To Feel Lightheaded:
What happened to gravity? Did the heat get it to it, too? Am I really floating? Or do I just need to chug more water?
When You Think You're Hanging Out With A Six-Legged Elephant Alien:
Uh oh. I think I might be dehydrated. Someone hand me a Pedialyte before I try to plant a smooch on the imaginary elephant alien that's currently waddling around my living room.