Entertainment

Jesse McCartney's Back. Kind Of.

by Alanna Bennett

Jesse McCartney was the man of my dreams circa 2003. We were just meant to be and that was the end of that. Alas, that was the same year that I discovered the existence of Seth Cohen, so that was rather short lived, but dude will always have a place in my nostalgic heart. Which is why Jesse McCartney's new song "Tie the Knot" is a welcome throwback.

The song, which you can probably guess from its title, is about marriage — which we would have probably found thrilling a decade ago but find terrifying now because of pesky things like aging and imminent mortality.

Actually, whether this song is really about marriage or about sex seems up for debate. He's singing in that Justin Bieber voice of his about how all his friends are getting married now so he should probably propose to his lady — and just in time for engagement season! Yech.

But he also keeps singing about doing a little something between the sheets, ifyouknowwhatimean, which you do, because it's glaringly obvious.

This song kind of sounds like it'd be on the soundtrack to a movie like Bride Wars if Bride Wars were made today and not back in 2009. Take that as you will, but it's generally cute in that boy-pop way where you're not invited to look at the lyrics super closely.

In the meantime we'll be quietly rewatching Summerland, wherein McCartney was the dreamboat and Zac Efron was the awkward kid down the beach.