Today, we have all been formally invited by HBO to the roast of one of their most hated characters: Joffrey. The Game of Thrones Twitter and Facebook have been posting the best burns by fans (tagged #roastJoffrey, of course), and some of the cast members have even got in on the fun: both Maisie Williams (aka Arya) and Rory McCann (aka The Hound) have posted videos taking jabs at the king of Westeros, but of course, Kristian Nairn (Hordor) sums it up best with "Hodor." Marketing ploys be damned, we want to get in on the roast of one of the most vile villains in recent TV history! So here's some of Joffrey's worst moments, rated on a scale of one to 10 slaps based on how much they made us want to slap him. Winter is coming for you, Joff.
Not only does he terrorize Sansa while they’re engaged by having his guards beat her and strip her naked in court, he continues to mentally torture her after he becomes engaged to Margery, threatening to rape her and walking her down the aisle to ridicule her during her wedding to Tyrion. Actually, pretty much everything he says to Sansa sounds like its coming from the worst of the Men’s Rights Activists.
Slaps: Five out of ten slaps
Using Ros as a Human Crossbow Target
There’s a difference between kink and outright violence, and that difference becomes even more obvious once you pick up a crossbow and start firing into a prostitute. If there’s any moment that made Joffrey seem even more like a young Jeffrey Dahmer, it’s this one.
Slaps: Eight out of ten slaps
Killing Lady and Running Off Nymeria
Sansa may be fooled into thinking that Lady’s death is all Arya’s fault, but you can’t fool us, Joffrey. If you hadn’t gotten a big ego and started fighting with everyone, Lady wouldn’t have felt the need to defend Arya and Sansa and attack you. And then you had the nerve to press charges against a wolf! Lady may be up in direwolf heaven, but Nymeria’s still on the loose, so I’d watch out if I were you…
Slaps: Three out of ten slaps
Beheading Ned Stark
Everyone was totally fine until you intervened, Joff. Eddard was totally going to confess treason, swear fealty to you and then go to the Wall, but nooo, you had to go and decide to behead him at the last second. This whole War of Kings deal we have going on right now? Pretty sure most of it is because of that moment. Thanks, Joffrey. Thanks a lot.
Slaps: Nine out of ten slaps
Making Sansa Look at Her Dead Dad
Killing someone’s dad right in front of them is one thing. Making them look at their severed head on a stick is another. Thanks to Joffrey, Sansa was able to reach a new, even more exciting low.
Slaps: Ten out of ten slaps