Did Jon Hamm's Um, Package, Prevent Him From Getting a Golden Globe Nomination?

And now, for the best rumor you'll hear all day: According to Naughty But Nice Rob, the real reason Mad Men didn't get any Golden Globe nominations is because of Jon Hamm's penis. Really, that's the reason they're saying — that Jon Hamm's penis is so big, literally and figuratively, that it's now created this giant penis-shaped shadow over the show previously known as Mad Men starring Jon Hamm, and now it's all the Hollywood Foreign Press Association can think about when they turn on AMC. I mean, if this is true (it's probably not), I almost can't blame them — who else saw those photos of Hamm going commando last year? Or these on-set photos from earlier this year? It's all sort of hard to forget.

Difficult. I meant difficult.

"The only headlines Mad Men made were caused by Jon’s tight pants," one insider apparently said of the show's recent sixth season. (For the record, that's not true: There was plenty of Mad Men discussion on the Internet during Season 6, but it just happened to be about the excellent quality of the show, not gossip surrounding it.)

"The show, lost it’s 'it' factor a few years ago after the publicist that launched the phenomenon left to go to another network. For Season 1, she worked to win over the foreign press voters, being from Europe herself, didn’t hurt."

According to the source, Hamm was talented enough to earn nominations in the past after this "mystery publicist from Europe" (IS SHE CARMEN SANDIEGO?!) left to go to "another network," but his penis's fame has just eclipsed his own fame. Sorry, Jon Hamm — it's Jon Hamm's penis's world now.

"Jon became known for his huge package rather than his acting this year... it is not like anything else changed," the source said. "He is still an amazing actor, he still does a great job on the show but now he is just more famous for something else!"

This is probably just a rumor, but whatever, it's hilarious anyway — though, it is worth saying that Mad Men absolutely deserved a Golden Globe nomination this year, because it was an insanely good season. Oh well.

Mad Men starring Jon Hamm's penis will return to AMC in Spring, 2014.