The Donald Trump Vs. Kim Kardashian Duck Face Contest — Who Wore It Best?
In one corner, we have a reality TV princess who's become synonymous with "celebrity." In the other corner, we have a Republican presidential hopeful who is better off hosting The Celebrity Apprentice. Yes, standing in this figurative boxing ring are Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump, each projecting their respective brand of ego and emanating pungent hair product odors. From the surface, it might not seem like they have anything in common, and even less to compete over. But there is one skill they both have in common, and which they bith possesses in spades: duck face. That's right, it's a duck face-off: Donald Trump vs. Kim Kardashian. Whose pursed lips will prevail?
Before we begin the bout, we should point out that Trump and Kardashian already have contentious history, mostly because of — not surprisingly — Trump. Showing off his signature brand of misogyny, Trump has made multiple comments on Kardashian's looks on The Howard Stern Show. Of course, the shock jock's radio show isn't exactly a platform for modesty, and for a guy like Trump, appearing on a show that encourages its guests to be as candid and unfiltered as possible is going to yield a veritable treasure trove of unveiled insults and disparaging zingers. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that when asked about Kardashian in 2014, Trump said:
Does she have a good body? No. Does she have a fat ass? Absolutely. It's record setting. In the old days, they'd say she's got a bad body.
Can you imagine the field day women would have with Trump if sitting around and talking about men's bodies was on our busy agendas? (Let's just say Trump's body isn't exactly cut from marble.) But that's not the issue at hand. This isn't a competition of looks, but of skill. Yes, duck face is a subtle art form — one that requires agility, restraint, and muscle strength. It's easy for Trump to curse, but how well can his lips purse?
Round One: The Sidekick Duck Face
When you're posing with someone else, your duck face doesn't need to be as assertive. Hence, the softer duck faces seen here on Trump and Kardashian.
Winner: Kim K., because she threw in a peace sign for good measure.
Round Two: The Shade Duck Face
You know the one — it's the face that says, "What the hell are you wearing, Paris?"
Winner: Trump, because nobody can throw shade like The Donald.
Round Three: The Magazine Cover Duck Face
Who flaunted their duck face better on the cover of a major publication?
Winner: Kim K., because Trump kind of looks like he wet himself there.
Round Four: The Posing-For-The-Cameras Duck Face
When bulbs are flashing and blinding you, you have to really concentrate to pull off the look.
Winner: Trump, because he literally looks like a duck there, it's uncanny.
Round Five: The Speech Duck Face
Now for the tiebreaker: Who's better at multitasking and executing the duck face mid-sentence?
Winner: Trump. That is possibly the most perfectly executed duck face the world has ever seen.
It looks like Trump ultimately prevails in the duck face-off. But when it comes to the presidency, I'd rather see Kim — hell, or any Kardashian — in the White House.
Images: Getty Images