13 Experiences Only Book-Lovers Have When Dating

by Sadie Trombetta

Book-lovers are the best kind of people. That's no secret. They're interesting, empathetic, intelligent, and they always have something to say. Birthday and anniversary gifts are a cinch because their book wish lists are constantly growing. Book-lovers are the kind of people you aren't embarrassed to bring home to meet your mother on Sunday dinner. So, dating a book lover is pretty awesome. But if you are a bibliophile yourself, there are certain experiences you know all book-lovers have when dating.

I'm a book nerd, and I'd be lying if I said dating was always easy. Most single people struggle with meeting new people, experiencing awkward first dates, and messy break ups... but bookworms have to deal with a whole other list of complications. In the already hard to navigate world of dating, book-lovers have to balance work, family, friends, love, and reading.

How can a book-lover deal? On top of all that, book-lovers have abnormally high standards when it comes to their ideal partners because the true loves of their lives exist between leather-bound covers, and no person IRL can live up to that. Sometimes the dating life of a book nerd can be rough.

If you love books, and have a love life, then you can relate to these 13 experiences only book-lovers have when dating:

1. You're usually too heartbroken over something in the book you're reading to even think about going on a date

Even though your last real-life break up was more than a year ago, you're still reeling from the death of your favorite character or the break up of your favorite couple in your current read. How can you even think about dating when your book has sucked all the hope from your life? Before you can love someone, you have to heal, and it's usually with the help of another book.

2. Your romantic expectations are rarely met

You've read about Noah and Allie, Scarlett and Rhett, Ron and Hermoine, so how can you settle for someone who thinks a text at the end of the night qualifies for romance? As a book-lover, you've experienced real love, albeit other people's love stories, so you expect something magnificent, something spectacular, something that makes your foot pop, but instead, you're stuck in a world of Chipotle and Snapchats in place of romantic picnics and love letters. Real life is just so unfair.

3. Before you go out, you look up your date's reading preferences on Facebook and search for his/her Goodreads profile

It's one thing not to have a Goodreads profile, because not everyone has time to curate a digital TBR pile, but it's an entirely different issue when the person you're supposed to go out with has awful authors listed on his or her Facebook page. What's that, there aren't any books listed in favorites? Cough, cough, I think I'm coming down with something and have to cancel...

4. You can't help but give a full-on character analysis to your date

Try as you might to keep your comparative literature tendencies to the margins of your book, you can't help but make mental notes about your date's character so you can over-analyze him later. The ticks, the color of his tie, the way he talked about his mother, IT ALL MEANS SOMETHING.

5. You automatically try and profile your dates as one of Jane Austen's leading men

Everyone is looking for a Darcy, but your online dating profile seems to attract strictly George Wickhams, and you can tell within five minutes of your date. The worst part? She doesn't even know that you're insulting her when you tell her she's being such a Willoughby.

6. You keep a book in your purse, even on dates

Oh, your date is in the bathroom? Forget reapplying lipstick or texting your friend about how sweet your date is. You have a few minutes of free time, so you're obviously going to use that time to inconspicuously read at the dinner table. A true book-lover never goes anywhere without a book, and never misses an opportunity to read it.

7. If things get serious, you dread going to his house for the first time

The quickest way of ruining a book-lover's budding romance is through a bad bookshelf. What if you go to your date's house and his bookshelf is lined with trophies or photos or random knick-knacks instead of books? Or what it his shelf is lines with only Tucker Max books, then what? WHAT IF HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BOOKSHELF? Forget about whether or not to bring an overnight bag. Book-lovers have bigger issues than that.

8. You treat losing a book like you would infidelity

No one likes being cheated on, but for a book-lover, lending your S.O. a book and finding out she lost it cuts just as deeply as finding out your beau was with another. All trust and love is out the window when your precious pages are gone with the wind.

9. You're always looking for the twist in the relationship

You assume the person you're dating is either married, secretly on the run for a murder he has been wrongfully accused of, or, if you're lucky (and read a lot of chick lit) he's secretly of royal blood and you're about to become a princess. There is no way anyone is can be normal, right? Book-lovers are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, whether or not it exists at all.

10. You've been known to call a date by the wrong name

No, Heathcliff was not your ex's name, but you can't convince your date of that. You didn't mean to call out your literary-lover's name in the moment of passion, but you were reading right before you went out, and can you really be blamed for having books on the mind at all time?

11. Not understanding your literary reference is worse then not saying "I love you" back

The candlelight, the wine, the decadent dessert, none of it matters if unless your date understands what made the waiter so Salinger-esque. When she doesn't get your obscure lit references, then she basically doesn't get you. Unrequited literary jokes — they're basically the same as unrequited love.

12. You regret that second date the moment he says he liked the movie better

At first, going on a date to the film adaptation of your favorite series seemed like a great idea... until you left and your date told you he thought the movie was better than the book. At least he saved you from a lifetime of disappointment, right? No need for a third date here.

13. You snoop through your date's wallet to see if she has a library card

You know snooping is wrong, and you wouldn't look through her texts or call log, but you feel you have every right to sneak in her wallet to see if she passes the library test. Who cares if her license has a different name than the one she gave you if her library card looks worn and well-used.

Images: Timothy Marsee/flickr; Giphy (13)