8 Ways You Know Cheese Has Complete Control Over Your Life
I’ll admit — I wasn’t always a cheese person. I know, I know. Blasphemy. But it’s gotten to the point now where I’m pretty sure cheese is in complete control of my life. Like, my daily life would not be complete without involving cheese in some way.
That's not a bad thing, of course. Cheese is absolutely delicious and versatile, and is essentially a necessity. Think about all the foods that include cheese, and all the meals that can be improved by adding cheese. Cheese is always here for us — almost too much so. I know that I’m not the only one out there who is obsessed with cheese on this level, but there is a certain point where cheese moves into the driver’s seat in the car that is your life. You think about it all the time. You have to eat it all the time. You’re pretty sure you love cheese more than anything and anyone else in your life. Now, that may seem a little extreme, but cheese can do that to a person.
If you think you might be in the same boat — we could form a club! — here are a few ways to tell whether or not cheese is running the show.
1. If a restaurant doesn’t have a cheese platter, you kind of don’t want to eat there.
I mean, I know not every restaurant’s atmosphere accommodates a solid cheese platter — but shouldn’t it? It’s not hard to put a cheese platter together, restaurant people!
2. You cannot be friends with people who don’t like cheese.
Allergies aside, if someone just doesn’t like cheese… you probably aren’t going to hang out much.
3. You judge your friends who do like cheese on their cheese preferences.
You would definitely consider yourself a cheese snob, and you heavily judge your fellow cheese lovers on the types of cheeses they enjoy, and how they enjoy them.
4. The first thing you ask when invited to a party or wedding is whether or not there will be cheese.
My best friend purposely planned to have her wedding photos done before the ceremony, because she wanted to be able to enjoy all the cheese she’d picked out for cocktail hour. Sure, there might be other food at the party or wedding, but you only care about how many kinds of cheese will be available.
5. Your travel plans revolve around the acquisition and eating of cheese.
Rather than planning out which sights you’re going to see when visiting a new place, you find out where the cheese shops are, and which restaurants have the best spread. You may even plan vacations solely to places with good cheese.
6. When asked what kind of cheese you want on your burger, you can’t decide.
Obviously, some cheeses go better with certain burger toppings, but having to pick just one is like torture. It’s like asking which one of your cats you like better — an impossible choice. Whoever said you could only have one cheese on a burger was not a cheese lover.
7. You eat cheese with literally every meal.
Yes, even for breakfast. Cheese on things definitely counts — even that powdered Parmesan cheese we all had on pasta as kids (and still have as adults).
8. When drunk, your go-to food is always cheese-related.
Grilled cheese, mac and cheese, cheese pizza, fondue, nachos — if you’ve been drinking, you’re craving cheese even more than usual. And sometimes you don't even bother to make it into something. Sometimes you just eat a lot of cheese.
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