When MTV announced that Miley Cyrus would be hosting the 2015 VMAs, we all knew to prepare ourselves for something weirder than we could even conjure up in our non-Miley'd brains. Miley Cyrus' 2015 VMAs red carpet outfit is only the beginning of that weirdness, and it's just as inexplicable as basically everything else Miley Cyrus has ever done.
That's saying quite a bit, isn't it? After all, Cyrus was the one who blew everyone's minds by twerking freely, placing her vagina directly onto a wrecking ball, and doing the onstage nasty with perpetual sad sack/Beetlejuice impersonator/the subject of Paula Patton's cringes, Robin Thicke. It's not as though Cyrus doing something shocking is new. Still, something about this red carpet look takes her to a new level. The ensemble is futuristic and yet, somehow, reminiscent of plenty of other things.
Let's first work our way through a verbal description of Miley Cyrus' look, which includes: An Ariana Grande-meets-blonde-hippie ponytail, a sparkly bow, massive bauble earrings, a red lip, two silver suspenders that somehow stay in place, a diaper made of precious gems, and thigh-high silver boots. Don't worry: It's a lot for anyone's brain to process. Add in a bit of Cyrus' signature tongue, and you've got yourself a noodle scratcher.
Now that you've seen Cyrus' first questionable choice of the night in all its glory, let's take a gander at what this outfit reminds us of — just in case you couldn't put your finger on it.
Is it the boots, is it the silver, or is it just Jane Fonda's almighty influence on pop culture? It doesn't matter: Miley Cyrus is serving Barbella realness.
2. A Chandelier
Look at this beautiful chandelier and try to convince me that Miley didn't snip off a few of these gems for her outfit. It begs a very important question: Just how heavy is that diaper of hers?
3. A Beaded Curtain
Or maybe Miley wanted to channel a different type of home decor: The beaded curtain. I've always wondered what it would look like if my vagina was covered with something that came straight from an 18-year-old girl's college dorm room.
4. A Sexy Firefighter
There is nothing that says "sexy firefighter" more than a pair of suspenders covering a pair of nips. I have no problem imagining Cyrus' look in a calendar on a middle-aged dentist's desk.
5. Samantha Jones
The sexy firefighter to end all sexy firefighters: Samantha Jones. Something tells us that Samantha didn't use tape to keep hers in place, though. Why bother?
6. Dr. Frank-N-Furter
There's just something about a strong leg in a thigh-high platform that reminds me of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Cyrus might not be channeling Tim Curry's iconic character exactly, but her look is certainly reminiscent of something out of Transylvania. In other words, Cyrus would fit right in to Frank-N-Furter's squad.
My hat's off to you, Miley. You never let us down.