Previously on The Sims Big Brother 17: The houseguests traversed an obstacle course maze; Sim Jace picked out a very chic frame for his crude painting of a house; Sim Austin tried to cook dinner, but indecision got the best of him; Sim Becky’s bladder proved to be a bigger obstacle than any bale of hay. You can check out the eighth installment of The Sims Big Brother 17 here.
Last week, I vowed I would purchase a diving board for the Sim houseguests. I don’t care how many Simoleons it sets me back, I thought, because the memories of Sim Jace swan diving into the pool will be priceless. This week, it was time to make good on my promise. I went into Build Mode, clicked the pool accessories tab, and prepared to choose a diving board. And that’s when everything came to a screeching halt: there isn’t a diving board in The Sims 3. Oops. I definitely forgot about that. How did I forget about that? I can't believe I forgot about that.
Not only was I embarrassed at my gaffe, but I was overcome with guilt; I really let the team down. I had to make it up to the Sim houseguests. I had to do something big. Something lavish. Something that'd make them forget all about the diving board. A grand, sweeping gesture.
So, I threw them a dance party.
...But because I am a megalomaniac, I couldn't leave the dance party be. Before I could stop myself, I turned the dance party into an eviction challenge. I made everyone except Sim Liz (she has immunity, remember?) compete in the The Sims BB17 Dance-A-Thon. The first two houseguests who stopped shaking their groove things were sent to the eviction studio apartment. There was sweat. There were tears. There were some really weird dance moves (great work, Sim Clay).
What else happened this week? Let's kick ball change our way on over to the dance floor, er, the Episode 9 recap.
The Moment When Sim Clay's Luscious Locks Were Nowhere To Be Found:
When Sim Clay wears his pajamas, his hair disappears. I don't know how or why it happens, but it's been "a thing" for the entire season.
The Moment When Sim Clay's Hair Grew Back:
There's something about that shirt and shorts combo turns his scalp into a Chia Pet.
The Moment When I Noticed Sim Da'Vonne Floating:
Another day, another houseguest defying gravity.
The Moment When I Noticed Sim Da'Vonne Was Floating Again:
I mean, I don't blame her; If I could fly, I'd kick the act of walking to the curb.
The Moment When Sim Da'Vonne Floated In The Air And Blew Bubbles At The Same Time:
That is some seriously impressive multitasking.
The Moment When Sim Jackie Caused A Pee Chain Reaction:
Ghost Sim Meg's bladder lost its cool the second Jackie piddled all over the floor.
The Moment When I Caught Sim James Throwing Away All Of The Old Newspapers:
I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY TEAM, SIM JAMES. HOW DARE YOU, SIM JAMES. HOW DARE YOU CAVE IN, SIM JAMES. HOW DARE YOU LET THE PAPERGIRL WIN, SIM JAMES.
The Moment When Sim James And Sim Austin Were Too Scared Of Ghost Sim John To Fall Asleep:
Sim Becky, on the other hand, did not stir from her slumber.
The Moment When A Ghost Sim Meg Went Skinny Dipping:
But which Ghost Sim is it?!?!
The Moment When I Found Out Which Ghost Sim Was Skinny Dipping:
Ghost Sim Meg is living the life! (Er, dying the death?)
The Moment When The Dance-A-Thon Commenced:
The pictures don't do the Dance-A-Thon justice. It was ~the coolest~.
The Moment When Sim Da'Vonne Loved The Song That Was Playing:
"I want to marry this song!" Sim Da'Vonne yelled over the music.
The Moment When Sim Clay Plugged His Nose And When For A Swim In The Sea Of Song:
Who needs a diving board when you can dive into the dance, AMIRITE?
The Moment When Sim Da'Vonne Reminded Everyone That The Dance-A-Thon Isn't All Fun And Games:
"Boogie like your BB17 life depends on it," Sim Da'Vonne said, "because your BB17 life does depend on it."
The Moment When Hunger Struck Sim Jace And Sim Audrey:
I told them to eat before the Dance-A-Thon, but they didn't listen. These Sim houseguests never want to listen to me/Sim Big Brother. One day, they will learn. THEY WILL LEARN, I SAY!
*Deletes the only clean toilet in the Sim BB17 house.* That'll teach them to not doubt me.
The Moment When Sim Audrey Decided She'd Rather Hit The Buffet Table Than Keep Dancing:
Don't do it, Sim Audrey.
The Moment When Sim Audrey Secured Her Spot In The Eviction Studio Apartment:
The Moment When Sim Jace Stopped Dancing:
Don't do it, Sim Jace.
The Moment When Sim Jace Made A Beeline For The Exit:
The Moment When Sim Jace Secured His Spot In The Eviction Studio Apartment:
The Moment When Sim Jackie, Sim Clay, And Sim Da'Vonne Celebrated Their Victory:
Congratulations, you three (and Sim Liz). You're still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Sim Model.
Oh, wait. Wrong show.
The Moment When Sim Jackie Wanted To Give Sim Jace The Boot:
No, I didn't tell Sim Jackie to evict Sim Jace. She did this all on her own. She wanted him to hit the road as soon as the eviction challenge ended. Sim Jackie takes The Sims BB17 very seriously.
The Moment When Sim Jace Said Goodbye To His Only Friends In The House:
Jace pressed his face against the glass. His breath created a small fog circle on the side of the tank. "I fish you all the best," Jace said. A tear rolled down his cheek. "I fish I could take you all with me. Life fishn't fair."
The Moment When I Added Two More Beds To The Eviction Studio Apartment:
Oo, the eviction apartment is getting so cozy!
The Moment When Sim Audrey And Sim Jace Moved In:
Sim Audrey is not happy with the layout of the eviction studio apartment.
The Moment When Sim Jace And Sim James Picked Up Where They Left Off:
The rivals had some unfinished business to take care of.
The Moment When Sim Jace And Sim James Yelled At Each Other About Each Other:
Sim Audrey could not be less impressed.
The Moment When Sim Jace Snuck Up Behind Sim James And Startled Him:
Poor Sim James. First Ghost Sim John scared him, and now Sim Jace? Dude can't catch a break.
The Moment When I Bought Sim Liz A Cake:
"Congratulations! You're Still Alive," I wrote on the cake in gel icing. She didn't seem to notice the gesture. (Or maybe she just didn't care?)
Next week: Three of the remaining four houseguests play darts, Sim Liz continues to ignore the cake, another houseguest is eliminated, and Sim Jace tries to sneak the fish tank into the eviction studio apartment.
Images: The Sims/EA Games (30); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (30)