If you hear the phrases "That is ridiculous," and "What is that even saying?" you know that you're listening to reactions to historical sex advice . In fact, that's exactly how Glamour Magazine's latest video begins — because how else can you start video of women reacting to sex advice from history? The tips that they used date all the way back to the Medieval era — 1680, to be precise — and continue up through 1963. To be fair, even the youngest of the tips is about 50 years old... but it's still pretty mindblowing that these pieces of "advice" were espoused even as recently as a few decades ago. Believe you me — it's definitely facepalm-worthy.
Glamour divides the pieces of advice by era, so that you can see how viewpoints about sex changed over time. As you probably can guess, most of these tips aren't exactly what you'd call progressive. You can clearly see how taboo sex in the 1600s that wasn't done for procreation was, for example; furthermore, most of the tips moving into the 19th and 20th centuries were based on perpetuating gender roles that kept women in submission to their husbands. Can you say "Ugh?"
The women's reactions to these ridiculous tips make it all bearable, though. They're too good not to watch — so here's a taste of the sorts of extremes you've got in store for you. Scroll down to check out the full video.
1. "I would have no woman tantalize a man with her hand, since she hath a more proper place to receive and bestow his instrument."
This tip comes from the School of Venus in 1680. Why tell women they can't give men hand jobs? Presumably because it's an activity that doesn't result in the conception of children. Clearly the School of Venus hadn't figured out what the women reacting in the video already know: "The hand job is so under rated," one of the respondents says. "You can't get pregnant or get STDs, so that's awesome." Or, as another puts it, "So this is just the old timey version of 'blow jobs are better than hand jobs.'"
2. "Housework, particularly floor scrubbing, is not only great for the female figure, but it's good for the soul. And it will help take the edge off your sexual appetite."
This tip comes from advice columnist Ann Landers writing in the mid-20th century. As the first woman reads this quote, she laments, "I already don't like this" — which pretty much summarizes my feelings, as well. "No, I'm not scrubbing floors, Ann!" another responds. "1963? That's so not that long ago!" says another. The fact that this quote is only about 50 years old is really something scary, but also shows how much progress our society has made in terms of sexuality and gender roles — feminism for the win! Even if, y'know, we still have quite a ways to go yet.
Check out more below. Trust me — you're not going to want to miss this.