What To Read When You're Trapped In The Bathroom

Let's be real: There comes a time when you're in the bathroom and you know you're gonna be there for a while. Traditionally, your grandma kept a wicker basket stocked with Reader's Digest back-issues, and today most of us scroll through Instagram and Twitter to pass the time. But the mobile-friendly website Poopfiction wants to change all of that by giving you stories to read while you're pooping. (Or otherwise taking care of business. More happens in a bathroom than just number two, right?)

Poopfiction makes your valuable alone time that much more valuable by filling it with literature in the length of your choosing. They really nailed it down to the minute: Pick a Tiny (one to two minutes), Short (two to three minutes), Medium (three to four minutes), or Long (four-plus minutes) story and Poopfiction will randomly generate a tale for your reading pleasure.

A quick investigation into each section reveals works by James Baldwin, Leo Tolstoy, Charles M. Skinner, and even a few of Aesop's Fables. Who knew pooping could get so intellectual? The site also features a section where you can view your reading history — just in case you find yourself so inspired you want to come back to something you read after you've washed your hands.

Of course, that isn't to say this cool tool should remain behind closed doors (or stalls, as the case may be). Poopfiction can be great outside of the W.C., too. Why not give it a shot at one of these times or places?

1. On Public Transportation

I can't tell you how many times I've been on the bus and cursed myself for forgetting a book. There's something about reading that makes a commute go that much faster. Poopfiction is there for your reading fix in a pinch.

2. Before Bed

Reading before bed is the perfect way to unwind after a long day — that is, unless you're trying to power through a piece of 10,000-page Russian literature. A short story of your choosing will help get you cozy for the night.

3. When You're Feeling Anxious

Sometimes, anxiety sets in when and where you'd least expect it. If you're feeling panicked or stressed, taking a moment to breathe and hop into a fictional world for a few minutes can help you feel calm and reset.

4. In Line

While waiting in line (at Trader Joe's, for the train, or for the bathroom) playing games on your phone seems like a good idea. But then someone bumps you, or someone cuts in front of you, or you don't notice the line move and the lady behind you starts treating you like Satan, and, well... after all that, I guarantee your Crossy Road chicken is quite dead. So why not pick up a quick story? You won't need to buy extra lives!

Images: sushiesque/Flickr; Poopfiction; Giphy (4)