Life

Brochure For When You Have A Case Of Donald Trump

by Lara Rutherford-Morrison

Is the upcoming election making you feel oddly compelled to tent your fingers and call people “losers”? As this fake health brochure about an illness called “Donald Trump” suggests, you may be suffering from a rare but debilitating medical condition affecting approximately “one in seven billion people.” Other symptoms of Donald Trump include “Greed,” “Excessive bragging,” “Delusions of presidency,” and the presence of “an elaborate and complex ‘hair nest’” on the top of the head.

Jeff Wysaski of Obvious Plant created the hilariously realistic looking health pamphlet and placed it alongside real pamphlets for health concerns like low back pain, breast cancer, and high blood pressure in a doctor’s office waiting room. It outlines both the symptoms and treatment for Donald Trump, a genetic condition that, Wysaski assures us, currently has no known cure. If you know someone with Donald Trump, you can try to decrease the sufferer’s symptoms by “Not replying to his tweets,” “Rubbing his tummy,” and “Giving him bits of string or bird food that he may pass along to the animal friends living in his hair.” The pamphlet also helpfully outlines topics to avoid when around someone afflicted with Donald Trump. The include (but are not limited to) immigration, foreign policy, Hot Pockets, the Air Bud movies, and Lady and the Tramp (Donald Trump is, apparently, exacerbated by movies about dogs).

If you would like to spread awareness of the dangers of Donald Trump, Wysaski has made a printable version of the pamphlet available, which you can hand out to those whom you fear may be afflicted.

Images courtesy of Obvious Plant (7).