'Graceland': You're a Good [Wo]man, Charlie [DeMarco]

We're four episodes into Graceland, but the show's only convinced me to give a poop about one character: Catherine "Charlie" DeMarco (Vanessa Ferlito).

I fell a little bit in love with Agent DeMarco last week, when we explored her professional yet protective Kima-and-Bubbles relationship with a meth-addicted informant. Tonight, we learned that she:

a) Makes badass braciole, using a 1000-year-old family recipe handed down from medieval Naples. Can we just repurpose Graceland into a Charlie-hosted cooking show? Giada's always been a little too intense for me, and I'm preeeeetty sure the Food Network has an opening.

b) Is a skilled tattoo artist, commissioned to ink a temporary chupacabra on Johnny Turturro's butt.

c) Isn't above hating on Patriots fans. New York metropolitan area for life, y'all.

In non-Charlie happenings, Paige hooks Jakes and Johnny up with Ashika, a pretty, flirtatious pot farmer. This woman also grows certified organic eggplant and serves oolong tea in mason jars. It's all very Weeds via Portlandia.

Johnny ends up sleeping with Ashika (is that, like, allowed?), but his temporary tats leave telltale smears on the bedsheets. In the morning, he sneaks off to snap a few iPhone photos of her warehouse full of weed — where she almost immediately catches him. It's Paige who ultimately saves the day, driving directly into the barn to save her friends. I'm glad to see Graceland is finally showing some love (and autonomy) for its ladies.

Mike Warren — undercover as a marine — has made surprising headway with Nigerian crime boss Bello, who enlists him to train his crew to shoot with military precision. Briggs is more than a little jelly, having tried and failed for three months to penetrate Bello's inner circle.

After a Boy Scout merit badge-style lesson on cleaning and disassembling their revolvers, Bello's suspicious first mate Eddie threatens to kill Mike. To protect Warren, the Graceland team brings Eddie in for a decoy interrogation, but this only leads Bello to turn against his former confidant ... and bully him into suicide. Sorry, Eddie. You seemed all right, for a hardened, murderous criminal.

Best "shop talk" moment of the week: Mike is universally mocked for using the word "marijuana." We're informed that acceptable terms for the plant include "ganja," "zombie, "baby" and even "reefer." ("It's making a comeback," Johnny insists.)

Image via USA