Greeting cards would have you believe that grandparents exist on this earth solely to spoil their grandkids. But in the horror movie The Visit , the only spoiling that's done is the spoiling of your relationship with your innocent Nana and Pop-Pop. (Bet you hug them a little less tightly next time you see them...) The M. Night Shyamalan horror story is partially told through documentary-like footage, and it thoroughly gives grandparents a bad name. It opens in theaters on Sept. 11, which hopefully means an end to those creepy promos that send me flying to the remote to change the channel every single time. So for those like me, who aren't brave enough to catch it in a dark, crowded multiplex, when will The Visit be on Netflix?
Relax, scaredy cats. The horror film hasn't even made its bow on movie screens yet, so there's been no official announcement yet for a Netflix release. The rate at which The Visit will make it to streaming depends significantly on Netflix's standing deal with the distributor, Universal Pictures. In a recent posting on the official Netflix blog, Chief Content Officer Ted Sarandos mentioned Universal as a strong partner of the service, though he was specifically referring to their stable of animated and family films. And I know what you're thinking, but no, The Visit does not get shelved in the "Family" section. Not on my watch.
Standard industry practice gives theaters sole screening privileges of at least 90 days, at least for the big-time studio films. So the earliest that The Visit will likely make it to legal streaming is mid-December. Just in time for holiday get-togethers at Gran's!
All this talk about The Visit's creep-tastic elderly got me thinking about some beloved movie grandparents I've never really trusted. And now I know why. While you wait for Shyamalan's newest twist ending to hit Netflix, remember these unsavory characters with me.
Charlie's Grandparents In Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
Still the darkest kids movie I've ever seen, Willy Wonka has its weirdness start early. There's really no suitable explanation offered for why all four of Charlie Bucket's grandparents spend 24 hours of every day in the same bed, though I'm sure my virgin ears are better off not hearing that reason anyway.
Grandma Annie In The Proposal
Betty White should probably be on our currency for how beloved she is. But I've still got one eye on Sandra Bullock's character's feisty gran, who's steady looking the entire movie like she's about to steal Ryan Reynolds away for herself.
Royal Tenenbaum In The Royal Tenenbaums
This selection has less to do with suspicion and more with fact. Royal Tenenbaum is a right bastard, and admittedly so. He lies, cheats, and pits his family members against each other, but I guess I could forgive him too, if he took me go-carting.
Edwin Hoover In Little Miss Sunshine
Listen, just because you don't trust someone doesn't mean that you can't like them, immensely. Olive's granddad in the family road movie Little Miss Sunshine is a loose canon who probably shouldn't be exposed to children. But he helps the little beauty queen believe in herself, and that's enough for me.
Rose Dawson In Titanic
"A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets." Whatever, lady. Just hand over the necklace so we can pawn it, like normal people.
See? Eerie grandparents don't live in the horror section alone. If you've got normal ones, maybe give them a call, huh?
Image: Universal Pictures; Giphy (5)