Equestrian Fashion for 2014, the Year of the Horse

Saddle up, Sally, because on January 31, 2014, we enter the Year of the Horse, according to the Chinese zodiac. Those born in the Year of the Horse are clever, talkative, and stubborn, characterized by their bright, hard-working spirit and a tendency toward impatience. (You probably know a few: anyone born from 02/07/1978 to 01/27/1979 or from 01/27/1990 to 02/14/1991 is a horse baby, too).

What does this mean for the rest of us? A chance to indulge in horse-themed outfits, that's what. Because none of us got to take riding lessons when we were young, Mom. And because nothing in nature is more thrilling than a rearing mustang… poised against the sunset… screen printed on your t-shirt.

Also, horses are the new wolves.

Image: Pixabay

A cozy horse sweater

At least, I thought it was a horse sweater until I zoomed in and realized that those galloping beauties are unicorns! Even better.

Horses Pattern Pullover Knitted Sweater, $43, wendybox.com

A librarian-chic horse-print dress

Oh, the tales you’ll tell! Pairs well with…

Beige Long Sleeve Polka Dot Horses Print Dress, $30.02, shepiner.com

Cowgirl-worthy riding boots

Horse not included. :(

Freebird Berlin, $350, zappos.com

Horse onesie pajamas

Perfect for nights when you want to re-read the entire Misty series (just me?).

Joules Horse Onesie, $49.91, asos.com

A vintage horse scarf

It’s slightly psychedelic, like a proper grandmother on the slightest dose of hallucinogens.

Vintage Paisley Horses Scarf, $14, etsy.com

A mustang one-piece

For those summer days when you just want to gallop across the beach, wind in your mane.

We Are Handsome Mustang Scoop One Piece Swimsuit, $291.29, asos.com

A white horse pencil skirt

It’s the type of purchase you can’t justify aside from the deep sense of rightness you get when placing it carefully into your online shopping cart.

Equine by Me Skirt, $42.99, modcloth.com

A little love bracelet

Comes inscribed with the famous Rolling Stones lyric, “Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.” Not a recommended gift for someone who’s already turned down your advances.

Wild Horses Couldn’t Drag Me Away Rolling Stones Lyrics Bangle Bracelet, $70, etsy.com

A shirt from the men's section

We’ll take it with a full skirt, loafers, and a miniature pony, please.

ASOS Shirt in Short Sleeve with Horses Print, $39.93, asos.com

Horse nail decals

Bucking bruncos on your fingertips for $4.50? Has the Wild Free-Roaming Horses and Burros Protection Act of 1971 signed off on this?

Silhouette Horse Nail Decals, $4.50, etsy.com

Two unicorns on a shift dress

Who needs true love when the unicorns on your dress have found true love — in a magical, far-off land, no less?

Feeling Fantastic Dress, $83, modcloth.com

A horse hoof ring

Good for pianists, saxophone players, painters, and anyone else with racehorse fingers.

Horse Hoof Ring in Solid White Bronze with Sterling Silver Overlay, $40, etsy.com

A Pegasus t-shirt

Greek mythology has never been so tacky, so mainstream, or so hilarious that we might just have to creep over to the men’s section and yank the last one from the hands of the nearest bro.

Pegasus Allover Tee, $20, urbanoutfitters.com