Saddle up, Sally, because on January 31, 2014, we enter the Year of the Horse, according to the Chinese zodiac. Those born in the Year of the Horse are clever, talkative, and stubborn, characterized by their bright, hard-working spirit and a tendency toward impatience. (You probably know a few: anyone born from 02/07/1978 to 01/27/1979 or from 01/27/1990 to 02/14/1991 is a horse baby, too).
What does this mean for the rest of us? A chance to indulge in horse-themed outfits, that's what. Because none of us got to take riding lessons when we were young, Mom. And because nothing in nature is more thrilling than a rearing mustang… poised against the sunset… screen printed on your t-shirt.
Also, horses are the new wolves.
A cozy horse sweater
At least, I thought it was a horse sweater until I zoomed in and realized that those galloping beauties are unicorns! Even better.
Horses Pattern Pullover Knitted Sweater, $43, wendybox.com
A librarian-chic horse-print dress
Oh, the tales you’ll tell! Pairs well with…
Beige Long Sleeve Polka Dot Horses Print Dress, $30.02, shepiner.com
Cowgirl-worthy riding boots
Horse not included. :(
Freebird Berlin, $350, zappos.com
Horse onesie pajamas
A vintage horse scarf
It’s slightly psychedelic, like a proper grandmother on the slightest dose of hallucinogens.
Vintage Paisley Horses Scarf, $14, etsy.com
A mustang one-piece
For those summer days when you just want to gallop across the beach, wind in your mane.
We Are Handsome Mustang Scoop One Piece Swimsuit, $291.29, asos.com
A white horse pencil skirt
It’s the type of purchase you can’t justify aside from the deep sense of rightness you get when placing it carefully into your online shopping cart.
Equine by Me Skirt, $42.99, modcloth.com
A little love bracelet
Comes inscribed with the famous Rolling Stones lyric, “Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.” Not a recommended gift for someone who’s already turned down your advances.
Wild Horses Couldn’t Drag Me Away Rolling Stones Lyrics Bangle Bracelet, $70, etsy.com
A shirt from the men's section
We’ll take it with a full skirt, loafers, and a miniature pony, please.
ASOS Shirt in Short Sleeve with Horses Print, $39.93, asos.com
Horse nail decals
Bucking bruncos on your fingertips for $4.50? Has the Wild Free-Roaming Horses and Burros Protection Act of 1971 signed off on this?
Silhouette Horse Nail Decals, $4.50, etsy.com
Two unicorns on a shift dress
Who needs true love when the unicorns on your dress have found true love — in a magical, far-off land, no less?
Feeling Fantastic Dress, $83, modcloth.com
A horse hoof ring
Good for pianists, saxophone players, painters, and anyone else with racehorse fingers.
Horse Hoof Ring in Solid White Bronze with Sterling Silver Overlay, $40, etsy.com
A Pegasus t-shirt
Greek mythology has never been so tacky, so mainstream, or so hilarious that we might just have to creep over to the men’s section and yank the last one from the hands of the nearest bro.
Pegasus Allover Tee, $20, urbanoutfitters.com